For someone who grew up in a predominantly conservative country where sex education in schools is highly heated up, I was no exception to the club of 26-year old virgins. I am Mark from the Philippines. I was raised in a society where premarital sex is a sin, where sex topics and discussions are taboo in the home, and where it is believed that virginity must be protected and be given up only in marriage. Despite everything, I have my own ideas on sex and virginity
And here’s how I first put my ideas in practice
On my first year as a professional and after going through a short-lived rocky relationship, I had a “text-mate” whose number was given to me by my brother-in-law. He took the number from a woman who was an officer-in-charge in a beauty products shop. After about a week of exchanging text messages with this woman, we decided to meet in McDonald’s. I was kind of nervous because it was my first time to meet a text-mate. I was so curious on how she might look like. At my age I was not used to dating women and I didn’t know how to approach a woman much less someone I would meet for the first time. So we met and had dinner. I told myself that I was lucky she was beautiful and she was a good company, too. At 5’ 9” she was taller than me by 6 inches! After exchanging pleasantries, we parted. Just like that! I was hoping that it would be a sex-on-the-first-date meeting, but I was shy and I didn’t know how to do that! Besides, I opted to show a good-guy attitude. I think all men go through this awkward feeling of asking a woman to have sex with him. Maybe that was the reason I had been a virgin for 26 years.
It was February a week after, so I exploited the romantic feeling that filled the air. I arranged to meet her in a classy restaurant. I bought chocolates for her. We had dinner and drank some light beers. Then, I offered to take her home. When we were in the cab, we kissed and kissed. I was so edgy the words were at the tip of my tongue: I want to spend the night with you; but I couldn’t say it! Suddenly we were near her house. Time was running out. I kissed her again. With all guts, I uttered ‘let’s not go home yet.’ And she got the cue from there. She asked me where to. I returned the question. And we both laughed. I shyly whispered to the driver to take us to a nearby hotel.
Anxiety always bothers first-timers. It was also my first time to check in a hotel. I felt tense having to ask for a room. When we got inside the room, history was written: I lost my virginity. I felt happy. I cherished every moment while we were doing it. At the back of my mind, I told myself ‘so this is how it’s done; it was not so difficult at all.’ In the Philippines, women in general feel a bit of guilt when they lose their virginity, but for men, and in my case, I felt complete. It was indeed like an initiation to the world of grown-up men.