Empowerment has to do with recognising and taking back the power that has always been yours. You didn’t lose any power. You just didn’t know you had it in you.
People who are sexually empowered don’t feel they need to do anything to prove to anybody when it comes to their sexuality. They don’t impose themselves onto others and they don’t feel a need to tell others what to do with their sexuality.
Are you sexually empowered?
I’ve worked in the field of supporting people with their sexuality for coming to eight years now (I survived the 7th year itch!).
My clients have repeatedly told me how much better they feel having confided in me, getting answers to their questions, and support for their growth. It wasn’t long that I realised it wasn’t just WHAT I was sharing but more of WHO I was that was inspiring them to own their own sexuality!
They’ve inspired me to I own (and reclaim) my sexuality on a daily basis. I’ve been actively working at developing a better relationship with my body and sexuality each day – even if a small way. For instance, you can read about my Orgasmic Yoga practices in my second book here.
I dare say I am sexually empowered.
A sex toy is but a tool.
In recent months, I’ve noticed a few new entrants on the sex toy market in Singapore. They trumpet one message: sex toys will make you sexually empowered (and surprise, surprise, they happen to sell those very toys that they are talking about).
Let me make it clear to you: a sex toy doesn’t necessarily make you any more sexually empowered. Don’t buy into any lies that you need to buy or do anything to be more of anything.
Sex toys are tools and they can enhance your sexual experience, but they do not necessarily mean YOU are sexually empowered. Sexual empowerment is more than buying or using of sex toys!
Don’t get me wrong. I don’t hate toys. I have and use sex toys. I even review them here (with zero cent going to me).
When I recommend a sex toy as a sexologist and sexuality educator, I will only have your best interests at heart. Beware of people who say something is good only to directly benefit from it (vested interests).
Get sexually informed, educated and empowered in ways that are right for you!
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee decided to take it upon herself to right this societal injustice in 2007. She set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality, then launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and is currently pursuing her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling. In practice for more than seven years, she is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.
Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the host of weekly radio show Eros Evolution on the OMTimes Radio Network. She has published two books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, and Orgasmic Yoga.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.