(Excerpted from the book Radical Marriage: Your Relationship as Your Greatest Adventure)
Most couples don’t want an ordinary, boring, routine relationship. They want excitement, fun, closeness, love. We need security, but we also need adventure. Radical Marriage is a paradigm for the next evolution of marriage and new territory for committed relationships.
Do you have a Radical Marriage? Take this quiz and see!
- ____ Our relationship is unique and different from any couple we know.
- ____ We are absolutely committed to each other and don’t ever think or talk about not being together.
- ____ We both take emotional risks and share all of our hopes, dreams, feelings, needs, issues, desires, and thoughts without holding anything back.
- ____ We accept, appreciate, and love each other 100% as is.
- ____ We consciously and continuously co-create our relationship.
- ____ We resolve issues and differences positively and without conflict.
- ____ Our relationship and lifestyle is driven by a shared vision that we developed together.
- ____ We have regular rituals and practices for maintaining our connection and enhancing our relationship.
- ____ We have each other’s back and support each other 100%, even when we disagree.
- ____ We respond positively to each other’s requests and never say “No.”
- ____ We both feel safe and loved, even when we’re mad at each other.
- ____ Our marriage seems to always be evolving, providing us continual challenge and excitement.
- ____ We always make decisions in connection with each other.
- ____ We prioritize each other’s needs and happiness.
- ____ We both take responsibility for getting our needs met in the relationship.
- ____ Our marriage is a role model and source of support for our family and community.
- ____ If we have a problem we don’t settle for “stuck” and seek creative solutions and get outside support as needed.
- ____ Our marriage is 100% positive and “I can’t”, “I won’t”, “It’s impossible”, and “It’s your fault” are not in our vocabulary.
- ____ We fall back on compromise as a last resort for resolving differences and it is rarely needed.
- ____ We successfully fulfill each other’s emotional, physical, and spiritual needs in our relationship.
- ____ We both consider our marriage to be our greatest, most important asset and source of fulfillment, meaning and adventure.
- ___ We can enthusiastically, joyfully, and authentically declare to the world “We have a Radical Marriage!”
Scoring: While each item is important for a highly successful relationship, this is your unique life and marriage, and if you can answer #22 positively, congratulations, you have a Radical Marriage!
2015 Relationship Coaching Institute, LLC, , adapted with permission
I am a certified relationship coach with Relationship Coaching Institute. Find out how I can support you and your partner in strengthening your relationship here.
Hire Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee decided to take it upon herself to right this societal injustice in 2007. She set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality, then launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and is currently pursuing her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling. In practice for more than seven years, she is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.
Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published two books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, and Orgasmic Yoga.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.