The Wheel of Consent: Desire, Empowerment & Choice

Posted On: September 9, 2017

This is an AASECT approved CE course – 8 CE Credits

This course is for: Sex Educators, Counselors, Therapists, Coaches and Bodyworkers.

When you touch [your partner, friend, or client], are you receiving or are you giving? Is there a difference? What happens when you know for sure?

What happens when your client learns to take ‘receiving’ and ‘giving’ apart, so they experience one of them at a time?

This course discusses the Wheel of Consent, which is a model of consent based on (but not requiring) exchanges of touch. The Wheel notes the distinction between the ‘doing’ aspect of the touch dynamic (who is doing) and the ‘gift’ aspect (who it is for).

Once the distinction between those two aspects is clear, the entire touch dynamic becomes clear, which brings ease, sensuality, confidence, self-responsibility and freedom to the interaction. When the dynamics are clear, it becomes apparent how they apply to both touch and non-touch dynamics. Indeed, the application to non-touch dynamics may be of greater import.

This class is experience based. The videos guide you through a series of somatic experiences in which you can ‘feel the difference,’ which then allows you to apply the principles to your client sessions and offer it as a practice for your clients to take home. (Also expect it to affect your personal life.)

You will learn to coach your clients:

  • To notice, value, trust and communicate their needs and desires
  • To notice and be responsible for their boundaries
  • A simple touch practice/game to take home
  • To identify the tendency to go along with what is being done and how to reverse it
  • How to listen for the pull instead of the push when choosing to engage with another
  • To distinguish between requests, offers and invitations to create clear agreements
  • When touching: to gain confidence in their ability to touch and distinguish between touching for the other person’s pleasure and touching for their own pleasure
  • When being touched: noticing they have a choice about how they are being touched and how to choose how they want to be touched

If you are a touch practitioner, you will also improve the quality of your touch, bringing both clarity and heart into your hands, and pass this on to your clients.

BONUS: In addition to the online module, Dr. Martin will offer a monthly Zoom call for all participants of this course at no additional cost (1st Tuesday of every month: San Francisco 1pm; London 9pm; Sydney 6am the following day).

Course Description

This course discusses the Wheel of Consent, which is a model of consent based on (but not requiring) exchanges of touch. The Wheel notes the distinction between the ‘doing’ aspect of the touch dynamic (who is doing) and the ‘gift’ aspect (who it is for). Once the distinction between those two aspects is clear, the entire touch dynamic becomes clear, which brings ease, sensuality, confidence, self-responsibility and freedom to the interaction. When the dynamics are clear, it becomes apparent how they apply to both touch and non-touch dynamics. Indeed, the application to non-touch dynamics may be of greater import.

This class is experience based. The videos guide the practitioner through a series of somatic experiences in which the distinctions become clear. This allows them to apply the principles to their client sessions and offer it as a practice for their clients to take home.

BONUS: In addition to the online module, Dr Martin will offer a monthly Zoom call for all students of this course at no additional cost (1st Tuesday of every month: San Francisco 1pm; London 9pm; Sydney 6am the following day).

Learning Objectives

By the end of this course, participants will be able to:

  1. Distinguish between giving and receiving and clarify ‘who it is for’ in any interaction
  2. Distinguish between the tendency to ‘go along’ with actions versus being able to choose an action based on desire and self-responsibility
  3. De-conflate ‘doing’ and ‘giving’ and discuss the confusion that is created when they are conflated; as well as de-conflate ‘done to’ and ‘receiving’ and discuss the confusion that is created when they are conflated
  4. Create touch exchanges between two people that are clarifying, inspiring and satisfying
  5. Integrate a felt experience of the four quadrants that create the Wheel of Consent – Taking, Allowing, Serving, and Accepting
  6. Evaluate dynamics related to touch that occur in your sessions and how they apply to the Wheel
  7. Apply the 3-Minute Game touch practice with clients as a tool for self-inquiry
  8. Recognize where engagements (with clients or otherwise) are coming from a clear request and agreement (consent) or where they are manipulative, assumptive, confused, or ineffectual (out of consent)
  9. Describe the difference between ‘push’ and ‘pull’ when it comes to choosing an activity
  10. Distinguish between a ‘request’, ‘offer’ and ‘invitation’

Course Outline

The course will be delivered through a series of pre-recorded videos and participants can go through the materials at their own pace.

The course will be divided into five sections:

  1. Introduction: What it’s about, where we are going and definitions (5 videos: 50 min)
  2. The Lessons: Learning to touch (10 videos: 2 hr 10 min)
  3. The Wheel of Consent and the Four Quadrants (11 videos: 3 hr 20 min)
  4. How to play the 3-Minute Game (1 video: 15 min)
  5. An Interview with Dr. Martin: How to apply the Wheel of Consent in professional situations primarily for non-touch practitioners in the sexuality field and including some notes for touch practitioners; how to empower your clients to set boundaries and make choices based on pleasure and self-responsibility (1 video: 1 hr 30 min)

Note: This course meets the requirements of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and is approved for 8 CE credits. These CE credits may be applied toward AASECT Certification and renewal of certification.

Order Now

Much of the course material is available free on Dr. Martin’s website. What you gain by registering for this course is: 1. 8 CE credits; 2. Some additional materials; and 3. Monthly video conference calls.

Section 1: Introduction 50 min
1 Intro: What it’s about and where we are going 16 min
2 Intro: Definitions 15 min
3 Intro: Receiving and Giving 5 min
4 Intro: Following the pleasure 6 min
5 Intro: What’s it got to do with sex? 6 min

 

Section 2: The Lessons – learning to touch 2 hr 10 min
1 The Lessons: An Introduction 5 min
2 Lesson 1: The pleasure in your hands 14 min
3 Lesson 1: Geekery 9 min
4 Lesson 2: The 1st Dynamic – Taking and Allowing 22 min
5 Lesson 2 Notes: The Taking Role 17 min
6 Lesson 2 Notes: The Allowing Role 9 min
7 Lesson 2 Notes: For Bodyworkers 14 min
8 Lesson 3: The 2nd Dynamic – Receiving and Giving 11 min
9 Lesson 3 Notes: The Receiving Role (Accepting) 17 min
10 Lesson 3 Notes: The Giving Role (Serving) 11 min

 

Section 3: The Wheel of Consent and the Four Quadrants 3 hr 20 min
1 The Wheel of Consent 45 min
2 Wheel: The Receiving-Giving Dynamic 12 min
3 Wheel: The Receiving half 8 min
4 Wheel: The Giving Half 6 min
5 Wheel: The Doing Half 10 min
6 Wheel: The Done-to Half 7 min
7 Wheel: The Taking Quadrant 32 min
8 A few thoughts on the Taking Quadrant 5 min
9 Wheel: The Allowing Quadrant 21 min
10 Wheel: The Giving (Serving) Quadrant 32 min
11 Wheel: The Receiving (Accepting) Quadrant 25 min

 

Section 4: The 3-Minute Game 15 min
1 How to Play The 3 Minute Game 15 min

 

Section 5: Interview with Dr. Betty Martin 1 hr 30 min
1 An Interview with Dr. Betty Martin by Dr. Martha Lee: How to apply the Wheel of Consent in a professional situations primarily for non-touch practitioners in the sexuality field and including some notes for touch practitioners; how to empower your clients to set boundaries and make choices based on pleasure and self-responsibility. 90 min

Grievance Procedure

  1. The person with a grievance will first try to informally resolve their grievance by contacting the AASECT CE Provider or Nonprovider or the Event Facilitator with the issue concerning the training, its delivery, the evaluation method, or technological issue.
  2. If the aggrieved person is not satisfied with the resolution through informal means, the aggrieved person shall put their grievance in writing to the AASECT CE Provider or Nonprovider or the Event Facilitator. The AASECT CE Provider or Non-provider or the Event Facilitator will then consult with appropriate personnel at the organization that have approved the course to find fair methods of resolving the grievance.
  3. If the aggrieved person is not satisfied with the solutions put forth, then they will be directed to put their grievance in writing and contact the appropriate organization, e.g. AASECT or state in which training has been provided. The AASECT CE Provider or Non-provider or the Event Facilitator will abide by any decisions regarding resolution of the grievance.

About the Instructor

Dr. Betty Martin is developer of the Wheel of Consent. She has had her hands on people professionally for over 30 years and conceived of the Wheel through these touch interactions. She is a former Chiropractor, and is currently a sex and touch coach in Seattle. She’s also a certified Cuddle Party facilitator (and trains and certifies others). Through her professional course, Like a Pro, she mentors and coaches other hands-on professionals in assessment tools, boundary and communication skills and how to make their sessions safe, effective and satisfying.

http://www.bettymartin.org

About the Interviewer

Dr. Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists) as well as certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists). Martha holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality as well as Certificates in Sex Therapy, Practical Counselling and Life Coaching. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40′ by Her World Singapore in July 2010 and ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women by CozyCot Singapore in March 2011. She is the host of weekly radio show Eros Evolution on the OMTimes Radio Network. She has published two books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, and Orgasmic Yoga.

Order Now

This program meets the requirements of the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) and is approved for 8 CE credits. These CE credits may be applied towards AASECT certification and renewal of certification.

Disclaimer: Completion of this program does not ensure or guarantee AASECT certification. For further information, please contact info@aasect.org.

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