Experiencing Festive Anxieties?

Posted On: December 18, 2016

What are you going to be doing through the holidays?

Are you looking forward to them? Or already hating them?

Do you plan to celebrate? Or do you have every intention to be holed up at home?

Or perhaps Chinese New Year is what you dread?

Life can be hard, and it can be especially challenging during the festivities when everybody seems to have someone or somewhere to go.

I was once called the ugliest girl in school, was systematically bullied, and even punched in the arm once.
I am glad for that time now. I learned to look for friends based on the quality of their character, and the size of their heart, rather than their looks.

Now as a sexologist and relationship coach, I enjoy cutting through the fluff into the heart of what really matters for my clients.

I focus on the highest potential of each client and hold onto hope for them – when they have none for themselves.

I am relentless in honing my craft, and in self-development (pursuing my fourth degree now) so that I can be your safe container.

Regardless of your personal circumstances, I came across this piece I wrote way back in 2011 and this sentence jumped out at me:

“… I had so much practice being alienated, with standing alone, with being the odd one out; now, as an adult, I care less about what others think of me (not that I don’t care at all), and more of what I feel is right for me…”

Think about what is right for you.

Ask for what is right for you.

Do what is right for you.

End of the year… you need to honor you.

There is only one of you.

And you are precious.

The full article is here.


I decided to do a selfie while on a train in Sydney this Oct.
I flipped the phone camera around and this was the shot.

Work with Martha

marthaSurrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee decided to take it upon herself to right this societal injustice in 2007. She set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality, then launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

Since 2011, she has been (and still is) the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. This accolade is only for those who meet the stringent requirements determined by AASECT, which is the leading professional organization for sexuality educators, sexuality counselors and sex therapists in the United States. In short, she strives to be the one of the best sexologists in the world.

She takes prides in making sure all her events are fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. You can read the testimonials she’s received over years here.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published two books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, and Orgasmic Yoga. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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Comments

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1 thought on “Experiencing Festive Anxieties?”

  1. I had a similar experience in school and I was much older than you are when I came to the wisdom you write so beautifully about here. It is so hard to see the things we learn about what defines beauty from advertising and entertainment. We confuse all those opinions with reality when they are really just a way to convince us to buy things.

    It is hard to believe that the woman in the selfie in this article could ever be called ugly! Thank you for posting it, because it just shows how ridiculous such opinions can be. All that matters *to me* is that I see a beautiful being committed to generosity, kindness and wisdom. That’s what counts in my world.

    I look at myself in the mirror and I see a man who has lived a life with many changes, a beautiful being committed to generosity, kindness and wisdom, someone trustworthy and sincere. That’s the opinion that counts in my world.

    It took me a long time to shed other people’s ideas about what should be in the mirror before I could see what was really there. It’s so hard, and so subtle, and you’re right, this is a time of year when this doubt can be triggered.

    As usual, I hope people heed your advice. Thank you for giving it.

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