The Vows We Make May Need Unmaking

Posted On: October 8, 2019

Have you ever

  • Scalded your hand with boiling water, and been afraid of drinking any hot drink?
  • Fallen down, and vowed never to run/ skip/ dance again?
  • Failed in something, and vowed not to try again?
  • Been heartbroken, and vowed never to open your heart again?

The vows we make doesn’t always serve us. We might say the things we say to protect us… but nonetheless they may not serve us in leading healthy, fearless and optimal lives!

We might look at happy people and assume they might have had a better life, better luck, or better people in their lives. We are all trying the best we can with the resources and knowledge we have. Others don’t have it better – they are also trying the best they can.

It’s not true that you are

  • Oversensitive
  • Don’t get it
  • Never learn
  • Too old, too ugly, too stupid
  • Too, too, too….

What we need instead, in my opinion, is:

  • Examine whether the vows we make still serve us
  • Unmake/ release those vows
  • Consciously make new decisions that better serve us

To be willing to release the vows (head talk) we made to “protect” us, we need to have the knowledge, tools, experience to heal ourselves (heart talk). When we know how to heal ourselves, we will not go around afraid of feeling/ trying/ doing anymore! We simply live fully!

I believe we should

  • Let go of stories that don’t make you happy.
  • Let go of vows that don’t serve you.
  • Let go of the past, pain, fears… if you did let go of them, you would be free to be.

This is why I am so passionate about sharing/ teaching the emotional releasing techniques that took me so many years to learn. It is not true that I am better than any of you. It’s however true that I have acknowledged who I am (a highly sensitive person who is also an empath) and work with in (rather than continue to blame/ shame myself for not being more like other people I know). Accepting and working with my sensitive nature has served me better than comparing with others and working against myself!

My free online program Clean & Clear is available here It is my gift of humanity. No catch. Just from my heart to yours. Somebody out there cares – and it starts from me

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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