As the firstborn, I’ve had to “fight” for pretty much everything…

Posted On: January 3, 2023

As the firstborn, I've had to As the firstborn, I’ve had to “fight” for pretty much everything I wanted in my life:
  • My first outing with my friends
  • My first overnight BBQ
  • My right to wear lipstick
  • My right to keep my hair long
  •  My right to wear contact lenses
  • My right to pursue the Arts steam I wanted (including intentionally failing science so I cannot have a destiny forced onto me).
For the most part, I’ve stood up for what I wanted knowing that the things that matters to me wouldn’t be granted if I didn’t speak up, ask for it, or stand by my decisions (and the consequences).
I used to be so resentful of being the firstborn – of being the pioneer/ trailblazer/ whatever you call it.
Nobody knows as much as I do how difficult it has been being and remaining a Sexologist in Singapore for so long (13 years and counting).
I’ve seen several sex toy shops, as well as sex-positive/ wannabe sex educators in Singapore come and go. If I hadn’t gone through what I went through during my formative years and beyond, I wouldn’t have the “balls” to begin much less keep at it. Sometimes my friends joke about it but it’s true, I have “bigger balls” than most people we know.
I’ve seen, heard, and personally experienced so much in my life that absolutely nothing fazes me anymore. Rather than assume I’m being arrogant, everything I’ve gone through has allowed me to develop the empathy for anybody suffering, the confidence and capacity of holding space for my clients, and now the know-how for supporting them around whatever comes up during a session.

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About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice since 2009, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.

Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Clinical Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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