Psst… what is Private & Confidential anyway?

Posted On: July 17, 2016

Today I want to talk about confidentiality.
I’ve been running my coaching practice for seven years.
I’ve been privileged to have been invited and spoken at medical events in Singapore, Malaysia, Brisbane and Perth on numerous occasions.
Many of you will know I’ve been the sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore (since 2009) and also for Men’s Health Malaysia (since 2010).
Over the years, I’ve had countless members of the media ask me to provide case studies of clients.
I have refused them all (and of course this has affected the amount of media coverage I get).
In the interest of self-disclosure, I admit I have once asked my private coaching clients who have overcome their sexual issue and now friends, if they are willing to speak to the media abut their sexual issue (the basis of which is that years had past and they are now friends, not clients per say).

“Oh, you don’t have to mention their names,” the media would tell me.
They want a story but don’t get what confidentiality truly means.
Confidentiality means that the case will be not repeated or discussed without explicit permission EVEN without name.
I see other helping professionals share their “case studies”
and I cannot help but wonder…
Are they doing this to help others?
Are they doing this to help themselves – get more publicity and hence more clients?
And most importantly, did they get explicit permission to share WITHOUT name?

To me, confidentiality means no telling. Period.
It is a non-negotiable because ultimately, the safety and well-being of my clients means the world to me.
It’s about respecting their boundaries (something not every helping professional adheres to).
It’s about being a good professional, and a decent human being.

What does confidentiality mean to you?
When your friends tell you to keep a secret, can they trust you won’t tell?
When your beloved asks about your day at work, do you tell to get a load off your shoulders?
When it comes to work documents, are they all confidential?

Did you know that besides practising confidentiality when it comes to my private clients, I also have a strict media policy when it comes to all of my workshops?
Media members (including bloggers) are asked to declare their status, report only their own experience (never those of others), and other participants the option to leave if they are uncomfortable.
If you don’t realise, you would have never seen me post any photographs of my own workshops.
It is not an oversight. It’s deliberate.
I never ever want anybody to be uncomfortable in any of my events.
Read it here.

You may not have met me. You may not know me personally yet.
I want you to know the decisions I made (and continue to practice) when it comes to my work was the reason of serious think-through.
My confidentiality policy hasn’t changed in seven years, and my media policy was implemented last year.

spiritual (14)
I think about you a lot more than you realise.
In fact, I see my whole life as a dedication to my work.
I know my clients would like me to give my all. And I want to give YOU my all the time, so why won’t I take the best care of myself that I can?
From my morning meditation practice, work-out routine, to sleeping habits, I continuously commit to be the best version of who I can be so that I can do the best work possible.

Do not hesitate to sign up for one of my workshops or coaching session.
From 2017, I plan to travel a whole lot more. Don’t take your life or partner or yourself or me for granted.

I decided to love and help you unconditionally before we even met.
But you need to help yourself too.

Who is Martha?

marthaFounder of Eros Coaching, Dr. Martha Tara Lee is a Clinical Sexologist in Singapore who has a doctorate in human sexuality. She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy. In practice for seven years now, she is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. This accolade is only for those who meet the stringent requirements determined by AASECT, which is the leading professional organization for sexuality educators, sexuality counselors and sex therapists in the United States.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published two books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, and Orgasmic Yoga.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. You can read the testimonials she’s received over her seven years of practice here. For her full profile, click here.

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