The Link Between Body and Mind

Posted On: August 28, 2016

If you follow the news in Singapore, you must have known that PM Lee Hsien Loong took ill speaking at the National Day Rally on Aug 21.

“He eventually came back to a standing ovation, looking good, and ended his speech on an uplifting note on our future as Singaporeans. He’s got real mental strength.”
– DPM Tharman Shanmugaratnam.

Read the media report here. On doctor’s advice, he’s resting till Aug 29.

Our PM Lee has had two health scares before – when he was stricken with lymphoma cancer in 1992 and when he had to undergo prostate operation in February last year.

I agree with P. N. Balji’s commentary calling for a rethink of the cabinet’s approach to work here.

“The time has come for the PM and his Cabinet colleagues to rethink their attitude towards work. There is no doubt that the work load of the Cabinet has gone up many notches in the last few years as Singapore is at the cusp of dramatic political, social and economic challenges.

We jumped on the globalisation bandwagon without thinking through the heartache it was causing our fellow citizens.”

These are 7 of my other thoughts reading these media reports:

  1. Should we always follow suit? – If you remember, our late Minister Mentor would speak in different languages for hours during our past National Day Rallies. It was natural that his successor PM Lee would follow suit. Systems and structures should work for people, not the other way.
  2. Is there a difference between desire and doing? The only thing is that we are not made the same. It’s not enough to want to do something, but also be able to do so physically and mentally. What we can do is get the information, gain knowledge and acquire skills to get there. Desire needs to be matched with doing – and the ability to.
  3. What about our work relationship? – I don’t know many people who are truly happy about their work. Long hours at work only makes for a dull Jack and Jill, and an unbalanced life. Part-time and flexi-hour work is not popular in Singapore, but perhaps these are options that can be explored.
  4. What about our body? – The last thing we will think of is when we’re exhausted from work is exercise. Actually light to moderate exercises actually helps calm down our nervous system, and gives more energy (not aggressive exercises like BodyCombat or Kickboxing).
  5. What about our diet? – We are also more likely to do binge eating and resort to junk food because of stress. The link between our mental health and body is definitely there.
  6. What about comparing? – If we are unique individuals, why don’t we allow ourselves to be that – different? How many of you get caught up with fitting in? We need to stop comparing against others, then shaming and torturing ourselves for not living or looking like others in the name of “matching up”.
  7. And, of sex? – When our body-mind is stressed and anxious, our sexual drive and desire would also be affected. On top of that, because we don’t actually receive accurate sexual information and education growing up, many of my clients don’t understand how the lack of sexual training and skills attribute to our sexual problems. If we get a fitness coach to help us achieve our health goals, what about a sexuality and intimacy coach for your personal life? How about me? Wink.

What Else?

  1. My latest article8 Facts About Sex in Singapore You Would Want to Know on SoulScape.
  2. Eros Evolution – My radio episode How to Create a Positively Pleasurable Relationship with Carl Frankel from last Friday is here.  Check out all the episodes here.
  3. In the newsAirAsia Hiring Transgender Applicants; Update your sex vocabulary… calling Sex Without a Condom ‘Unprotected Sex’ is passé
  4. Learn online – I have three online programs. Check them out here, here and here.

Who is Martha?


Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee decided to take it upon herself to right this

societal injustice in 2007. She set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality, then launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

Since 2011, she has been (and still is) the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. This accolade is only for those who meet the stringent requirements determined by AASECT, which is the leading professional organization for sexuality educators, sexuality counselors and sex therapists in the United States. In short, she strives to be the one of the best sexologists in the world.

She takes prides in making sure all her events are fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. You can read the testimonials she’s received over years here.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published two books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, and Orgasmic Yoga. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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