Hectic schedules and busy lifestyles leave little time for relationships these days. Lack of time and a host of other reasons lead to notable troubles in relationships. When these problems are neglected and left unaddressed, things tend to worsen, culminating in a severe crisis that may break the bonds between couples. This is where relationship counseling plays an integral role.
What is Relationship Counseling?
Challenges in relationships may range from financial matters and constant disagreements to differences in sexual desire and infidelity. More often than not, conflicts and misunderstandings in a relationship often occur during the development phase when their relationship is experiencing contraction and expansion. It is during this phase that they try to understand and relate to each other while trying to conform to the shifts and changes.
Relationship counseling is done under the guidance of a counselor, who helps each person understand the issues they are facing, and come up with suitable solutions that takes the relationship forward. This helps to eliminate distress in the relationship, thus promoting fulfilling future. The counselor is trained to offer professional help and advice to people seeking to save their relationship.
What are the Benefits of Relationship Counseling?
Conflict is inevitable in relationships, which often leads to anxiety. In a family setting, the relationship can be soured by jealousy and different personal interests. The same traits may be evident in a romantic relationship. These issues tend to culminate with ugly feuds and fights. It may be easy for misunderstanding to take center stage invalidating the significance of each individual in the relationship. As such, much is left unsaid and this births unresolved feelings that soil relations. Seeing a counselor helps to have a better understanding of self and the significant other in the relationship. Through the aid of the counselor, they learn how to express their feelings while bringing everyone together thus strengthening their bonds.
Lack of communication is one of the primary reasons why relationships fail as they are often formed and solidified by trust and openness. Problems in this area can create disconnect and therein distance between the couples paving the way for bigger issues. Counseling sessions help to restore communication, thus improving intimacy once again. Both parties are allowed to speak their mind, express thoughts and feelings whilst the counselor facilities the process of effective communication. Once they start communicating, the ice is gradually broken, so they can understand each other from a new perspective and with a positive approach while resolving conflicts.
Dealing with Divorce
Divorce is a more complicated matter than a breakup. A counselor will do their best to ensure couples and families don’t have to go through the sad outcome of a divorce. However, some couples are too quick to take the divorce route seeing it as a faster and simpler solution to avoid the problems they face in their relationship. What they often fail to understand is that their actions fuel the discord that led to the divorce. Talking to the counselor can prevent such heartbreaking outcomes that tear families apart, as it can help in resolving issues, while promoting healing. Mutual understanding will be established to prevent problems in future, especially if there are children involved.
If a person does not have a better understanding and appreciation of self, they are less likely to understand and appreciate others, which lead to poor footing in their relationships. Counseling helps to bolster confidence and self-esteem, as it helps to understand their role and value in a relationship. Strong self-esteem will make couples have a more positive outlook towards life, and this increases the chances of the relationship lasting and succeeding.
Both parties need to invest time and effort in mending relationships, and a relationship counselor can work wonders regarding this aspect, and help couples become happier and more content like they used to be.
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and completed her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in 2017. In practice for eight years, she is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.
Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the host of weekly radio show Eros Evolution on the OMTimes Radio Network. She has published three books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga and From Princess to Queen.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
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