The Poison of Comparing

Posted On: September 1, 2019

I used to spend one hour a day catching up on emails which mainly involved going through the publicity emails of my colleagues. By the time I am done, I felt so overwhelmed and defeated because if they are all doing such excellent work, then how do I even begin? How can I possibly begin to measure up? What kind of impact could I ever achieve following how amazing they are?
I realised that by comparing myself and my work with others, I was sabotaging myself.
  • I stopped reading emailers unless led by intuition and found myself happier for it.
  • I limited the opening of emailers of other people’s work to less than 5 a day.
  • I began to get back my energy, and this year, am spending more time outdoors, less on TV/ YouTube, and more on things that aren’t directly related to my work but which give me a lot of joy – like dancing.
I told myself to go deeper into who I was, what I wanted to do, and what people wanted. This year so far, I ran Self-Pleasure month in May, and Dance Yourself Free in September. I introduced new workshops: Rediscovery: My Sexuality; Sex & Sexuality 101; Counseling for Non-Counselors; Coaching for Non-Coaches; and Art of Assertiveness. I am planning to do crowd-funding for my 5th book – a sex ed book that contains fun and funny trivia and quotes.
It’s so important that we stop comparing or risk buying into the lie that we are unimportant, and are never good enough. It’s so important that we build and celebrate one another up because everybody has their own struggles and challenges. It’s so important that we heal our past, be grateful for the present, and are positive about the future. It’s so important to never, ever, ever give up on ourselves, the human spirit, and the wonder of life.
#justsaying #lifeislikethat #poisonofcomparing #individuality #celebrationoflife #gratitude #compassion #love #hope

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. She is also a Red Tent Women’s Circles Facilitator from Star of Ishtar.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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