What is Sexual Empowerment?

Posted On: October 10, 2019

“Do you know what the word ’empowered’ means?” I used to volunteer in the only women advocacy group in Singapore, and this question was one of the first questions one of the ex-Presidents and my one-time mentor asked me.

I didn’t know. I felt I should have. I certainly heard it many times. So cool and hippy but still just a word. I guessed… it’s about feeling and being powerful?

No… empowerment is about taking back the power that has always been ours. It’s not about getting. It’s about reclaiming what IS.

I have spent years reclaiming my power as a woman (having bought into the lie I just needed rescuing), unleashing my physical voice (instead of shutting up and looking pretty), and trusting my inner voice (where body wisdom is always faster and more intelligent than mental intellect).

Without truly understanding the word “empowerment”, people won’t understand what sexual empowerment means either. This is really what I believe I teach: relearning, rediscovering, and reappreciating the sexual side of who we are. Sure, my clients don’t know certain sexual information but what they really need is a way back to themselves.

We cannot separate our sexual selves from ourselves. We came from sex. We are sexual beings. People who shut down, and shut out their sexuality inadvertently dim down their brilliance, vibrancy and magnificence. And that… to me.. is a tragedy that needed addressing.

When I started my practice 10 years ago, I felt like the joke of the town: I was subjected to much negative remarks, hurtful comments and also sexual harassment (since I am so sexually out there, I must also be a slut and therefore “fair game”). I dug in my heels: “I choose to stand for positive sexuality. Let change start from me.”

I worked with (and still do) whoever chose to come to me. It’s not about forcing anything down anybody’s throat and telling them how to live their lives – support is not the same as telling.

Acurate sexual information, acquired sexual knowledge and sexual skills can lead to increased sexual confidence and ease with one’s sexual being and expression. We all need sexual healing. Let it start from you.

This is a gift from me to you… Reclaiming Your Sexuality (E-book with exercises inside) http://www.eroscoaching.com/reclaiming-your-sexuality/

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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