Letting Go Gets Faster with Practice

Posted On: April 8, 2020

When I first started doing volunteer helpline counseling (more than 15 years ago), it took me a while to realise I was buying snacks and filling myself up with these “goodies” because I was so sad and affected by the stories shared with me. I had to stop myself from this binge eating – that doesn’t happen to me under other circumstances.

When I first started my relationship/ sexuality practice (more than 10 years ago), I was so flat out emotionally exhausted from client sessions that I would withdrawn myself from the world – focusing on what I needed to do. Because most of my clients preferred to see me weekday evenings and weekends, I ended up not having much of a social life. After some time, friends stopped asking me out and I myself didn’t have the energy to go out after work.

To help myself, I tried various emotional releasing and clearing techniques. The most effective for me was Lindwall Releasing. Yet different things work for a different time – there is no one right/ best way for everybody. Over time, I acquired a basket of tools and techniques which I share to this date. I am so passionate about sharing them that I have released this free online Clean & Clear video series – as my gift to humanity.

Last night, I was electronically attacked by a man when I refused to share the specifics of how I masturbate. I questioned his motivations instead of outrightly blocking him (I could already see what was to come – giving him benefit of doubt)… but he started to be increasingly rude.

While I created a free online Masturbation Month campaign where I debunk myths around self pleasure and provide resources and education around masturbation, there is some things I do not share (It’s here www.eroscoaching.com/masturbationmonth).

Yet he insisted on my masturbation answer (sexualising me and reducing me to an object), called me rude and unprofessional; then names (a cunt, a cheat) followed. He threatened to write me bad reviews, and then when I unsubscribed and blocked him, he spammed me through my website i.e. kept emailing – now saying he wanted to fuck me, and topping it up by sending his unsolicited DICK PIC.

I have had violence towards me because I DARE be a woman who talks about sex for a LONG TIME. If not for these emotional techniques, I would be overwhelmed, full of rage, sad, scared etc… but in reality this is NOT the first time I’ve received electronic abuse (because I REFUSED to fall in line and do what A MAN expects me to do, and reply the WAY he wants me to reply). It is easy to say MEN are blah, blah, blah… but I cannot. I love men and I have witnessed humanity in all its vulnerability – I love my work, love supporting my clients to grow, and I CANNOT ever want to HATE anybody.

I have to let go, let go fast – because I deserve to have a happy functional life like the next person so I did my energy shield and Lindwall Releasing. It worked and I was able to have a good sleep. I’m sharing all this to encourage you to try these emotional releasing techniques. I do hope these same techniques support you through this festive season because they have helped me. With love and light.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. She is also a Red Tent Women’s Circles Facilitator from Star of Ishtar.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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