Lifelong Learning is Possible

Posted On: August 1, 2020

When I was probably 5 or 6, I asked my mom what life had in stored for me. She explained to me the education system in Singapore – primary school (6 years), secondary school (4 years), junior college (2 years), university (2 – 3 years). I asked what was beyond university and she said that there was working life, marriage, parenthood, and then death.

What was incomprehensible to me back then was how boring/ routine/ fixed life was, and was that really the meaning/ purpose of life? If this was what life really was about, I was already bored out of my brains, and didn’t want any of it. Later, I wanted to drop out of school at Primary 3 (9 years old) going through the humdrum of the education system, hating it, not knowing any other way around it and continuing for fear of disappointing my parents.

I didn’t know it but I needed was just a different way of education. I really started to flourish at polytechnic (Diploma in Mass Communications) where for the first time we were encouraged to question everything about life, and what was around us. We were encouraged (even expected) to be independent thinkers and express ourselves in our own unique ways. We were celebrated for our differences, and not punished for non-conformity.

After my diploma, I started work and continue studying towards my Bachelor of Arts (Communications). Hard as it was (work-and-study), I enjoyed the flexibility and freedom of self-study; and later correspondence study (my Masters in Policy Policy and Management). My Doctorate in Human sexuality was correspondence + on campus. My Masters in Counseling was a combination of online + face-to-face (campus week). Today, I have four degrees and several other certifications. To me, it’s less about the certificate than the joy of learning.

I didn’t know it at first but it all made sense later. I preferred:

  • Focusing on the content/ takeaways (cut through the bullshit)
  • Quality rather than quantity interactions i.e. less classroom politics
  • Self-paced (as and when available/ free)
  • Independent learning (own time/ own target)
  • Zooming into the learning not the comparing with classmates

I have since taken a bunch of online learning modules through Coursera and Edx and love it! To me, there is no stop or end to learning. I know so many people who stopped studying to work who think that that is the end of their educational journey, that they aren’t the “studying type”; that they can’t possibly go back to school.

I can be honest and tell you: I never was one to have good grades – I just did it for the joy/ pleasure of it. And you can too. I do notice how my grades got progressively better through the modules because my brain was just better at processing what I was learning – and it does take some time to get into the grove of things so do be patient with yourself.

I just hope for you that you find a learning method/ style that feeds and nurtures you, that serves/ supports/ works for you – if you so wish. It is possible to learn at your own pace. May all be well.

For life/ sexuality/ relationship coaching/ counseling, please hire me!

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. She is also a Red Tent Women’s Circles Facilitator from Star of Ishtar.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

Eroscoaching Logo

Get sex tips straight in your mailbox!