My Reflections on the First Day of 2015

Posted On: January 1, 2015

Today is the first day of 2015. I came across a series of reflection questions shared by my friend Shirley Taylor, after she watched a blog video.

I found myself being stumped, and decided to delve deeper. These are my answers:

1. What’s your most joyful moment from 2014?

OLYMPUS DIGITAL CAMERAMany of my happiest moments in life involve being with or around my closest friends. However this might be my most joyful moment from 2014 – the creation and subsequent release of this video for Lunar New Year. When I made this video, there was fear around the possible fallout of releasing it. I was afraid of coming across as flippant and attention-grabbing (as if being a sexologist by itself didn’t already made me the target of lots of other projections).

I went ahead to release the video because this fear was overriddened by my desire to be. To be me. To allow my inner child to come out and play. And in so doing, give others permission to be silly, funny, flippant or whatever if that’s what they wanted to do too. This was my first work-related video in attempting anything remotely creative, that offered a glimpse into the real me – ever.

Releasing that singular video fed my joy and freed me to give myself permission to produce whatever else it is I wanted. Subsequent work I released which I am proud of can be found: here, here and here. You see, this Lunar New Year video also became part of a bigger and more important personal story which I shared in my last video for 2014. Hence contrary to what some people had to say about it later on, I believe I will remember this video fondly for years to come.

2. What’s the best decision you made in 2014?

melbThe best decision was planning for and paying instalments towards my level 1 and 2 teacher training for The Art of Feminine Presence which took place in Melbourne late Nov – early Dec 2014. The practices taught by Rachel Jayne Groover have helped heal and shift me in deep ways I didn’t think were possible. I am looking forward to teaching them to both men and women. Also it stands, testimonials I have already received reaffirm my decision as a great one.

3. (a) What’s the best lesson you learnt from your successes? and (b) What’s the best lesson you learnt from your failures?

Spread to my face for the 1st time. 16 Sept, 12:27a.m.
Spread to my face for the 1st time. 16 Sept, 12:27a.m.

2014 was not as “successful” as it could have been because I was plagued by health issues from May till pretty much end of that year. I was having hives attacks in some shape or form pretty much nightly.

Hence my best success (overcoming hives) is very linked to my biggest failure (hives continuing for as long as it did). Without enough rest and sleep, there is really no health to speak of. Ill health means no vitality or energy to get anything done. You can read more about my overcoming hives (again) here. Also, I’ve put together a list of my achievements for 2014 here.

4. What are you most excited about in the coming year?

I am excited about conducting The Art of Feminine Presence previews, weekly classes, and couple classes. I believe that these practices will transform individuals and their relationships in significant ways. You can see some of them already listed here.

5. What are you most grateful in 2014?

The movie Brave about a mother-daughter relationship made me cry. Click on image to read my blog post.
The movie Brave about a mother-daughter relationship made me cry. Click on this image to read my blog post.

Everyday – and it is not just 2014, I am grateful for life. Some of you may know I have a mom who has stage 4 breast cancer. She is my living example of humility and humanity. She has become my biggest inspiration because she continues to live life courageously. When you have a mom who strives to thrive, and have yourself gone through episodes of ill health, depression and heartaches, life becomes a gift.

For me, life is a continuation in being able to do good and fulfil my life purpose. I see it as my life’s mission to help people embrace all of who they are – to live life fully and fearlessly, just as I am. To stake such a bold claim, I would have to (and have been) living it fully and fearlessly by continuously confronting and expressing my authentic self. My work and blog are ways in which I aim to inspire people to do so.

What might be your answers? Care to share?

If you like this post, please share it. Please leave your comments on Facebook and Twitter and in the meantime, keep loving, live life fully and stay lovely!

Dr Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching in Singapore. She is a certified sexuality educator with AASECT (American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors, and Therapists), as well as certified sexologist with ACS (American College of Sexologists). She holds a Doctorate in Human Sexuality from Institute for Advanced Study of Human Sexuality as well as certificates in practical counselling, life coaching and sex therapy. She is available to provide sexuality and relationship coaching for individuals and couples, conduct sexual education workshops and speak at public events in Asia and beyond. For more, visit

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