Become a Patron!Vaginal pain and dryness—especially around perimenopause and menopause—are common, treatable, and nothing to be ashamed of. Your comfort matters. The fastest wins usually come from a two-part plan: (1) daily moisture to nourish the tissue and (2) the right lubricant and tools to make touch and sex comfortable again. Below are my go-to, body-safe picks I recommend to clients. Use code erosmatters at checkout for a discount (affiliate).
| 1. Pjur – Woman Nude Water Based Personal Lubricant 30ml (safe with toys)
Best for: anyone who’s sensitive or prone to irritation; safe with all toys and condoms. How: Apply generously to the entrance and shaft/toy; reapply as needed. |
 |
| 2. Pjur – Woman Softer Formula Silicone Personal Lubricant 30ml (more slippery, suitable for vaginal penetration – not suitable with silicon sex toys)
Best for: maximum, long-lasting glide during vaginal penetration; excellent if water-based dries too fast. Why: Ultra-silky, doesn’t evaporate; ideal for menopause-related dryness and tenderness. Condom-safe. Note: Do not use with silicone toys (it can damage the surface). Keep this for skin-to-skin or non-silicone toys. |
 |
| 3. Iroha – Moist Gel Intimate Moisturiser 100G (daily use)
Best for: daily comfort and tissue hydration (think “face moisturiser,” but for vulva/vaginal entrance). Why: Gentle gel with skin-loving ingredients; helps reduce micro-irritation day-to-day. Light yuzu/ylang-ylang scent. How: Use a pea-to-almond-size amount on external vulva and just inside the entrance daily, independent of sexual activity. (Patch-test if you’re scent-sensitive.) |
 |
| 4. The Horny Company – 10 Function Wireless Bullet Pink (for internal and external use)
Best for: gentle, targeted external stimulation (clitoris, labia, nipples) and warm-up to reduce pain/guarding. Why: Small, discreet, beginner-friendly; vibration can increase blood flow and natural lubrication, easing penetration later. How: Start externally with lube; no need to insert. Let pleasure lead—stop if anything feels sharp or burning. |
 |
| 5. Calexotics – Lube Tube Lubricant Dispensing Tube Set Purple (for deeper into vagina)
Best for: delivering lube deeper into the vagina when dryness is more internal or when using dilators/penetration. Why: Precise, clean application so the glide is where you need it, not just at the entrance. How: Fill with water-based lube, insert gently, and dispense before sex/dilator work. Wash with warm soapy water; disinfect after. |
 |
Your body isn’t “broken”—it’s asking for care. Start with daily moisture, choose the right lube for your scenario, and use gentle vibration to invite pleasure back in. Every body is unique—if you’re struggling with pain, dryness, or intimacy concerns, let’s talk. If you’d like personalised guidance, I’m here to help. When you’re ready to stock up and purchase at Horny.sg, use erosmatters at checkout (affiliate) to save a little while you heal a lot.
P.S. You may wish to purchase my recorded session Navigating the World of Sex Toys here.
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Master’s in Counseling, she founded Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualized and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples in unconsummated marriages, individuals with sexual inhibitions or desire discrepancies, men facing erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. She welcomes people of all sexual orientations and offers both online and in-person consultations in English and Mandarin.
Dr. Lee is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region since 2011, and became an AASECT-certified sexuality educator supervisor in 2018. Her fun, educational, and sex-positive approach has been featured in international media including Huffington Post, Newsweek, and South China Morning Post. She currently serves as Resident Sexologist for the Singapore Cancer Society, Of Noah.sg, OfZoey.sg, and Sincere Healthcare Group., and is the host of the podcast Eros Matters.
An accomplished author, Dr. Lee has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013), Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019). Her contributions have been recognized with numerous honors, including Her World’s Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40 (2010), CozyCot’s Top 100 Inspiring Women (2011), Global Woman of Influence (2024), the Most Supportive Relationship Coach (Singapore Business Awards, APAC Insider, 2025), and the Icon of Change International Award (2025).
You can read the testimonials she’s received over years here. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
