Become a Patron!
Talking to your kids about sex can be a daunting task, but it’s an important part of their development and well-being. As a sexologist, I often hear from parents who are unsure of how to approach this topic with their children. It’s important to have age-appropriate conversations about sex and relationships that are inclusive, sex-positive, and gender-neutral. In this blog post, I will provide possible scripts for parents to explain what sex is to kids based on age level.
Age 0-5: At this age, it’s important to start laying the foundation for healthy attitudes towards sexuality and relationships. You can use simple language and teach your child the correct names for body parts.
Possible Script: “Your body is yours, and it’s important to take care of it. This is your penis/vagina/bottom, and it’s a part of your body that helps you go pee and poop. It’s important to keep your body clean and healthy.”
Age 6-10: At this age, children may start asking more specific questions about sex and relationships. It’s important to provide accurate information and address any misconceptions they may have.
Possible Script: “Sex is something that two people who love each other can do together. It’s a way for them to show their love and affection. When two people have sex, they can make a baby if they want to. But it’s important to wait until you’re older and ready to have sex.”
Age 11-14: At this age, children may be more curious about the physical aspects of sex. It’s important to discuss consent, safe sex practices, and respect for all genders and sexual orientations.
Possible Script: “Sex is something that two people who love each other can do together. It involves touching each other in intimate ways. It’s important to make sure that both people want to have sex and that they use protection to prevent pregnancy and sexually transmitted infections. It’s also important to respect all genders and sexual orientations.”
Talking to your kids about sex can be challenging, but it’s crucial for their development and well-being. By providing accurate information, creating a safe space for discussion, and addressing any concerns or misconceptions, you can help your child develop a healthy attitude towards sexuality and relationships that will serve them well throughout their lives.
If you have any concerns or questions about talking to your kids about sex, I encourage you to schedule a private consultation with my team. We can provide personalized advice and guidance based on your family’s needs.
References
- American Academy of Pediatrics. (2016). Talking to Your Child About Sex. Retrieved from https://www.healthychildren.org/English/ages-stages/gradeschool/Pages/Talking-to-Your-Child-About-Sex.aspx
- Planned Parenthood. (n.d.). How to Talk About Sex with Kids. Retrieved from https://www.plannedparenthood.org/learn/parents/how-to-talk-about-sex-with-kids
- Sex Education Forum. (2015). Top Tips for Parents Talking to their Children about Sex and Relationships. Retrieved from https://www.sexeducationforum.org.uk/media/1079/top-tips-for-parents.pdf
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Master’s in Counseling, she founded Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualized and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples in unconsummated marriages, individuals with sexual inhibitions or desire discrepancies, men facing erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. She welcomes people of all sexual orientations and offers both online and in-person consultations in English and Mandarin.
Dr. Lee is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region since 2011, and became an AASECT-certified sexuality educator supervisor in 2018. Her fun, educational, and sex-positive approach has been featured in international media including Huffington Post, Newsweek, and South China Morning Post. She currently serves as Resident Sexologist for the Singapore Cancer Society, Of Noah.sg, OfZoey.sg, and Sincere Healthcare Group., and is the host of the podcast Eros Matters.
An accomplished author, Dr. Lee has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013), Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019). Her contributions have been recognized with numerous honors, including Her World’s Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40 (2010), CozyCot’s Top 100 Inspiring Women (2011), Global Woman of Influence (2024), the Most Supportive Relationship Coach (Singapore Business Awards, APAC Insider, 2025), and the Icon of Change International Award (2025).
You can read the testimonials she’s received over years here. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
