A rebound relationship is a romantic connection formed soon after a breakup, often before one or both partners have fully processed their past relationship. Research by Brumbaugh and Fraley (2015) found that about 33% of people start dating within the first month after a breakup, with those who initiated the split more likely to move on quickly.

While rebounds are often seen negatively, they aren’t inherently bad. In some cases, they provide emotional support and personal growth. However, when driven by avoidance or unprocessed grief, they can cause more harm than healing.

The Rebound Effect: Can They Be Positive?

When approached with self-awareness, rebound relationships can have benefits:

✔️ Emotional Support – A new relationship can offer comfort and a sense of normalcy after heartbreak.
✔️ Confidence Boost – Feeling desired again can rebuild self-esteem after rejection (Tashiro & Frazier, 2003).
✔️ Clarity on Relationship Needs – Dating someone new can help you better understand what you truly want.
✔️ Breaking Toxic Cycles – If you left an unhealthy relationship, a rebound could shift your attachment patterns in a healthier direction.

Spielmann et al. (2009) found that new relationships can help people with high attachment anxiety let go of their exes. But this only works when the rebound is built on genuine interest—not as a distraction from emotional pain.

The Risks: When Rebounds Cause More Harm

Despite potential upsides, many rebounds are emotional bandages rather than healthy connections. Common drawbacks include:

❌ Unresolved Baggage – Shimek and Bello (2014) found that people who enter new relationships quickly often bring unprocessed emotions, leading to similar relationship issues.
❌ Avoidance of Healing – Avoidance-driven relationships tend to be less satisfying and more unstable over time (Spielmann et al., 2013).
❌ Constant Comparisons – Rebounders frequently compare new partners to their exes, reducing relationship satisfaction (Brumbaugh & Fraley, 2015).
❌ Rushing into Intimacy – The brain’s neurochemistry during new relationships can create a false sense of deep connection, which often fades.
❌ Attachment Instability – Those with anxious attachment styles are more emotionally dysregulated in rebounds (Sbarra, 2006).

Sbarra and Emery (2005) note that post-breakup emotions fluctuate for 6–24 months, making quick transitions risky for long-term stability.

5 Red Flags of a Rebound Relationship

While every relationship is unique, research identifies key warning signs that your connection might be more about filling a void than real compatibility:

🚩 1. The Relationship Moves Too Fast

If one or both partners rush into commitment—declaring love quickly or making future plans—it might be an emotional escape rather than a genuine bond (Spielmann et al., 2013).

🚩 2. Constant Comparisons to an Ex

Frequent mentions of an ex—positive or negative—suggest unresolved attachment, which can lower satisfaction in new relationships (Brumbaugh & Fraley, 2015).

🚩 3. Using the Relationship as an Escape

If the connection is primarily about numbing pain or avoiding loneliness, rather than genuine interest, it may not last (Maner et al., 2007).

🚩 4. Emotional Availability Feels Inconsistent

Sudden shifts between intense connection and emotional withdrawal may indicate unprocessed grief over a past relationship (Mason et al., 2012).

🚩 5. Fear of Being Alone Drives the Relationship

Spielmann et al. (2013) found that fear of being single increases the likelihood of settling for less desirable partners and staying in unsatisfying relationships.

How to Move Forward: Are You Ready for a New Relationship?

If you’re wondering whether your relationship is a genuine connection or just a rebound, consider these self-reflection questions:

• Am I with this person because I truly care for them, or to avoid loneliness?
• Have I processed my last relationship, or am I still emotionally tied to my ex?
• Would I still want to be with this person if I were emotionally healed?

If the answer to these questions isn’t clear, take time to work through your emotions before jumping into a new relationship.

Breaking the Cycle: Build Healthy Relationship Patterns

If you’re struggling post-breakup or unsure about your relationship choices, self-awareness is key.

🚀 Work with us to:
✔️ Gain clarity on your emotional patterns
✔️ Heal from past relationships in a healthy way
✔️ Build resilience and avoid repeating unhealthy relationship cycles
✔️ Create a foundation for emotionally fulfilling connections

💡 Book a 15-minute consultation today and move forward with confidence. True connection starts with self-awareness.

References:

1. Brumbaugh, C. C., & Fraley, R. C. (2015). Too fast, too soon? An empirical investigation into rebound relationships. Journal of Social and Personal Relationships, 32(1), 99-118. https://doi.org/10.1177/0265407514525085
2. Feeney, J. A., & Noller, P. (2004). Attachment and sexuality in close relationships. In J. H. Harvey, A. Wenzel, & S. Sprecher (Eds.), The handbook of sexuality in close relationships (pp. 183-201). Lawrence Erlbaum Associates Publishers.
3. Maner, J. K., DeWall, C. N., Baumeister, R. F., & Schaller, M. (2007). Does social exclusion motivate interpersonal reconnection? Resolving the “porcupine problem.” Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 92(1), 42-55. https://doi.org/10.1037/0022-3514.92.1.42
4. Mason, A. E., Law, R. W., Bryan, A. E., Portley, R. M., & Sbarra, D. A. (2012). Facing a breakup: Electromyographic responses moderate self-concept recovery following a romantic separation. Personal Relationships, 19(3), 551-568. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1475-6811.2011.01378.x
5. Sbarra, D. A. (2006). Predicting the onset of emotional recovery following nonmarital relationship dissolution: Survival analyses of sadness and anger. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 32(3), 298-312. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167205280913
6. Sbarra, D. A., & Emery, R. E. (2005). The emotional sequelae of nonmarital relationship dissolution: Analysis of change and intraindividual variability over time. Personal Relationships, 12(2), 213-232. https://doi.org/10.1111/j.1350-4126.2005.00112.x
7. Shimek, C., & Bello, R. (2014). Coping with break-ups: Rebound relationships and gender socialization. Social Sciences, 3(1), 24-43. https://doi.org/10.3390/socsci3010024
8. Spielmann, S. S., MacDonald, G., & Wilson, A. E. (2009). On the rebound: Focusing on someone new helps anxiously attached individuals let go of ex-partners. Personality and Social Psychology Bulletin, 35(10), 1382-1394. https://doi.org/10.1177/0146167209341580
9. Spielmann, S. S., MacDonald, G., Maxwell, J. A., Joel, S., Peragine, D., Muise, A., & Impett, E. A. (2013). Settling for less out of fear of being single. Journal of Personality and Social Psychology, 105(6), 1049-1073. https://doi.org/10.1037/a0034628

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee