Two Saturday nights ago (12 September 2020), I dreamed of my mom – the first time since she passed away almost 3 years ago now.
In the dream, she was in her 30s and having some kind of white mask (like facial mask) on. I stirred and freaked out in my sleep (enough to know I was asleep and this was a dream). When I calmed down, I asked her what message she had for me. There was silence and she continued looking at me.
This was a blank stare which I am accustomed to. She used to go to our study room and stand at door and just stare at us (me and my sister). I used to get irritated with her just staring at us – little did I know that was her way of checking in on us, wanting to but probably didn’t know what to say or how to connect with us. Instead she left us alone wanting us to focus on our studies and be well. Space was love. What she was doing and what she was feeling was probably incongruent – but it is what it was.
Now in this wordless stare in my dream, she was communicating more than words could say. She loves me and was checking in on me. And I love her right back… I miss her.
Sometimes there are no words. And there is no need for words.
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About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.
Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
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