Week 42 of 52 LSE – What is Integrity?

Posted On: October 19, 2014

Welcome to Love, Sex, and Everything in Between! My name is Martha. I am a sexologist and I am playing Goddess Goody Two Shoes. So tune in to find out what I have to say.

What is integrity? What is integrity to you? How much is your integrity as a person worth to you?

Just to give you an example, I ran a workshop two years ago and everybody in the workshop said they loved it. I was so happy because it was the first time I was running it and I wanted to make sure everybody had a good experience in the workshop.

I was very shocked one week later when I received an extremely nasty e-mail from one of the participants. In the e-mail, she said the workshop was very lousy. She called me names. She said I didn’t deserve to call myself a sexologist. She said she had signed up from my other workshop and she doesn’t know how it’s going to be, considering how lousy the workshop that she attended was.

I was so shocked because I went out of my way to make sure everybody had a good time and learned something, and she did not tell me anything negative. Instead of getting all angry, I decided to check in with myself – what would make me feel right? And even though it was a loss, I decided to refund her the money from the workshop that she said she was so unhappy with. I decided to go the high way because I decided that really it was more important that I felt peace in my heart rather than to argue with her and get all angry and hostile.

That’s what integrity kind of means to me – being able to put yourself on the line and maybe lose a little bit so that everybody is okay at the end of the day and feeling peace within your heart. Integrity is a little bit like taking, perhaps sometimes, short term pain in order to have long term gain.

I’d like to ask you to think about for this week: What are your boundaries with regards to your integrity? Because if you do not know what are your lines that you will not cross, very often when we are met with challenges, we just kind of have things happen to us and we don’t even know what’s happening.

It’s very important to think about what is your integrity to you, what are your boundaries, what are the lines that you will not cross. It is good to decide now and explore it, rather than wait for things to happen and then we are kind of like – I don’t know it happened – so with that, Integrity.

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Dr. Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and intimacy coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. For more, visit www.ErosCoaching.com or email info@eroscoaching.com.

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