Book Review: Why Talking Is Not Enough

Posted On: November 6, 2013

whytalkingisnotenoughThere is a saying that action speaks louder than words. Published in 2006, this book encourages active Spiritual Partnership by encouraging couples to shift their paradigm of it being their partner’s duty to make them happy, but their individual duty to see their relationship as part of their spiritual evolution.Note that spiritual partnership is not the same as religious partnership, and this book does not advocate religious dogma.

By adopting the Eight Loving Actions mentioned by the author, or essentially wearing new lenses, one might just result in a 360 degree change in their relationship. For instance, if an angry, resentful or disgruntled spouse were to take the first steps of being nice, it can result in a snowball effect over time – where years of dialogue or even nagging has not work.

The Eight Loving Actions are: Adopt a Spirit of Good Will; Give Up Problem Solving; Act as If; Practice Restraint; Balance Giving and Taking; Act on Your Own; Practice Acceptance; Practice Compassion.

This book is certainly not in conflict with the principle of Law of Attraction: Where intention is, energy flows. Focusing on a problem – which can sometimes be willing things to turn out your way or the high way – can in effect make a situation worse, not better.  Wearing new lenses, shifting one’s approach, focusing on what you can do when words have fail is not the same thing as being in denial or running away from a problem. Rather it is more of being OK with not being OK and doing other things in the meantime.

This book certainly provided food for thought in what else couples could be doing when they are stuck in the relationship rut, and even doing on a bit of a downward spiral. It might just breathe new positive energy and hope to couples who think they have tried it all to making their relationship work better.

And of course, working with a trained helping professional can help facilitate the process and even speed up the learning curve at times. Having said that, I just want to remind the reader that I am not a relationship or marriage expert, but only focus on sexuality issues.  I was reading this book for fresh insights into understanding my clients issues and being of greater value to them.

Book Description

Why Talking Is Not Enough, written by Susan Page, author of the acclaimed bestseller If I’m So Wonderful, Why Am I Still Single? presents a novel relationship strategy based on subtle, powerful changes in your own actions. This method shows you the magic of “Keep your mouth out of it!” Page’s pioneering eight-step program invites you to give up problem solving and move directly to a warmer, more loving and fun relationship, based on universal spiritual principles. In this book you will learn how to transform your relationship into a Spiritual Partnership by adopting these Eight Loving Actions: Adopt a Spirit of Good Will; Give Up Problem Solving; Act as If; Practice Restraint; Balance Giving and Taking; Act on Your Own; Practice Acceptance; Practice Compassion.

Some Reviews:

“Susan Page has done it again—brilliantly! Never before have I been so convinced that actions speak louder than words. Think about this irony—a spiritual partnership that requires only one person to make it work.”
—Stephen R. Covey, author, The 7 Habits of Highly Effective People and The 8th Habit: From Effectiveness to Greatness

“Clearly, a cutting-edge book! Page offers a new paradigm for couples that she calls Spiritual Partnership. Taking issue with much marital therapy based on communication, conflict resolution, and problem solving, she encourages partners to view their relationship as a spiritual practice. A fresh and challenging approach! I recommend this book to all couples.”
—Harville Hendrix, author, Getting the Love You Want and coauthor (with Helen LaKelly Hunt), Receiving Love

“This book is simply wonderful.”
—Christiane Northrup, M.D., author, Mother-Daughter Wisdom, The Wisdom of Menopause, and Women’s Bodies, Women’s Wisdom

“If you’ve ever said, ‘I talk until I’m blue in the face,’ or ‘If I’ve told you once, I’ve told you a million times,’ it’s time to quit reciting the same old thing and read this book! It offers fail-proof, loving, action-oriented methods for getting through to your spouse and creating more connection and intimacy. With Page’s down-to-earth, simple-to-implement tools, you will quickly see that when it comes to relationship change, it’s easier done than said!”
—Michele Weiner-Davis, author, Divorce Busting

Who is Martha?

Dr. Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and relationship coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. She is the author of the books Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, and Orgasmic Yoga. She is also the host of the weekly radio show Eros Evolution on OMTimes Radio. For more, visit or email

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