My Favourite Memories with My Dad

Posted On: May 1, 2020

It’s not Father’s Day but I made the below video as part of my “campaign” for Father’s Day promoting more awareness and need to acknowledge our father for their love and contribution towards our lives from years ago.

In the video, I shared what kind of person my Dad is, and gave examples of he has touched me. I showed the video to my Dad one Father’s Day. He didn’t say much after watching it with me, but it was still important for me to have done it for him.

These are my absolute all-time favourite memories of me and dad yet he doesn’t remember it:

When I was in primary school, we would have periodic traveling book fairs to the school. They would set up shop for a few days before moving on. Before each fair arrives, each student would be given an A4 paper listing the books available for purchase. We would be told by the teacher to give this sheet to our parents.

I would dutifully give this to my Dad thinking he would dismiss it. Our childhood was already surrounded by books – from the library, hand me downs from different places etc. There was no lack of books in my life. He surprised me.

At least twice, I remember him taking this sheet, dropping everything he was doing, pouring over each title on this sheet diligently and often repeatedly while his glasses hung over his nose. Basically he would spend what seemed to me like an excessive amount of time going through the list, ticking his selection of books he deemed worthy of buying.

And then… he would show up to buy these books at the travel book fair on the published dates as per the handout. How he got off work to show up during my recess (break time), I never asked. The first time, I remember how happy/ proud/ special that he showed up at my school just to buy me books. New ones! They smelt so good! What a treat! I felt like the luckiest little girl in school.

Another time during a separate traveling book fair, he didn’t show up during my recess when he said he would. I waited. I was so disappointed when my recess ended and we filed back to school and lessons resumed. Suddenly my dad was there at the door to my classroom! He has a bag full of books. He interrupted the class rather than wait till the evening, because in my mind, that was his way of showing me that he might be late but he still made it! I was important! The teacher smiled at my dad and me kindly – kinder than I thought she ever did towards me. I felt so special.

I remember one of the books being on magic. I would be happy with anything! But a book on magic? I deduced that it was important to be filled with wonder and curiosity about the world, and that was his way of telling me that.

Once he passed me the money so my teacher could get the books for me – no other kid’s parents bothered. So repeatedly less through his words, but more through his actions, I knew my education was important – important enough for him to take time off work. More than an education, he imparted in me a lifelong love for reading, books and learning.

Watch the rest of my Father’s Day series here!

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 10 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. She is also a Red Tent Women’s Circles Facilitator from Star of Ishtar.

Often cited in the local media, Dr. Lee is the appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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