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Too Tied Up This Chinese New Year?
1. Remember that you are not alone in your feelings.
Talk to someone. Often, we feel ashamed telling others, because it feels inappropriate to be sad when you’re supposed to be feeling holiday joy.
But talking with someone about feeling down at this time can be an easy way to make yourself feel better!
2. Plan ahead and be kind to yourself.
Develop a plan in advance to avoid feeling depressed or stressed on the day.
If being alone on Lunar New Year is unavoidable, plan a day for yourself.
3. Host or join a virtual Lunar New Year.
By setting up a WeChat chatroom or Facebook group. People can drop in and out as they please, and you don’t have to cook, clean, or even get off the couch.
Being alone doesn’t mean you have to be lonely.
4. Don’t be afraid of changing your mind.
This is often a problem for those with social anxiety—you turn down invitations only to regret it and feel lonely afterward. Know that it’s OK to call those people back and say “yes” after all. Your friends and family will be delighted to have you join in the celebrations!
5. Reimagine Lunar New Year.
Instead of stressing over a preconceived notion of what you think the holiday should be, focus instead on making it what you want it to be: a low-stress, enjoyable experience.
This is your chance to create your own holiday traditions that are meaningful and enjoyable to you.
6. Set realistic, achievable goals and update them regularly.
These goals challenge us, they are still within reach to attain. Pushing ourselves and eventually achieving our goals increases the sense of control we feel over our life outcomes.
This motivates us to achieve more — setting us on an upward spiral of emotional wellbeing.
References:
- Lin, C. (2022, January 15). How can New Year’s Resolutions Benefit our Mental Health. Aventis Graduate School. https://www.aventis.edu.sg/how-can-new-years-resolutions-benefit-our-mental-health/
- Mind Health Collective. (2021, October 27). Lunar New Year Blues and Eight Ways to Overcome Them. Bee Lim. https://mindhealthcollective.com/lunar-new-year-blues-and-eight-ways-to-overcome-them/
- The ultimate guide to surviving Chinese New Year and overbearing relatives, and getting as many lai see packets as possible. (2016, February 6). Young Post. https://www.scmp.com/yp/discover/advice/personal-development/article/3057137/ultimate-guide-surviving-chinese-new-year
For relationship and sexuality counseling, do contact me here.
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice since 2009, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.
Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Clinical Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.
