How to Know You’re Good in Bed

Posted On: February 5, 2022

I wrote the piece Are you good in bed? 10 signs you’re an amazing sex partner for Honeycombers Singapore. This is a quick at a glance of the 10 signs! 🙂

How to Know You're Good in Bed

How to Know You’re Good in Bed

When we do something, we like to know if we’re good at it and if so how to improve further. Yet when it comes to sex, many people feel shy and embarrassed talking about it much less ask for feedback.

When we do something, we like to know if we’re good at it and if so how to improve further. Yet when it comes to sex, many people feel shy and embarrassed talking about it much less ask for feedback.

Here are the 10 Signs you're an amazing sex partner!

Here are the 10 Signs you’re an amazing sex partner!

1. You communicate about sex well 2. You’re open to trying new things

1. You communicate about sex well

You appreciate the role of sexual communication before, after and during sex, and do so without being long-winded and belabouring your point.

2. You’re open to trying new things

You’re open to your partner proposing new things, and you also take a proactive role in expressing your desire to try new things without shaming or guilt-tripping the other.

3. You respect boundaries and consent 4. You’re generous in bed

3. You respect boundaries and consent

You don’t take any “no” personally, but instead remain open and curious about supporting your partner’s sexual evolution.

4. You’re generous in bed

You encouraged both of you to take all the time needed, because sex is meant to be fun, enjoyable, and pleasurable.

5. You are ready to adapt and adjust 6. You feel comfortable having sex with lights on

5. You are ready to adapt and adjust

You treat each person as the individual that they are – and you ask questions, explore, and focus on their individual preferences.

6. You feel comfortable having sex with lights on

You know that when you’re comfortable with yourself, your partner will be more likely to be comfortable with you.

7. You don’t imitate others 8. You feel sexually confident

7. You don’t imitate others

You don’t allow yourself to be intimidated or insecure by others and are comfortable in your own skin.

8. You feel sexually confident

You know what, when and how to apply speed, pressure, rhythm and in short, you know what you’re doing when interacting with your sexual partner.

9. You don’t get intimidated by sex toys 10. You’ve been told this by more than one sexual partner

9. You don’t get intimidated by sex toys

You welcome sexual aids and sexual variety because they are rightly only there to support your sexual expression does not replace you.

10. You’ve been told this by more than one sexual partner

They tell it to you because they feel it’s true – no need to second guessing and doubt them. It’s their opinion and it’s meant to be a compliment.

Read the full article here.

For relationship and sexuality counseling, do contact me here.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 12 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.

Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Resident Sexologist for PinkLifestyle.com; as well as Clinical Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

         
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