Alone in the Room: What to Do When Your Partner Refuses Therapy

Posted On: December 11, 2023

Alone in the Room
It can be difficult to deal with a partner who is not willing to attend therapy. It can be a source of frustration, anger, and sadness. However, there are ways to cope with this situation and still work towards a healthier relationship.

Here are some tips for dealing with your partner not being willing to go to therapy:

  1. Talk to your partner about why they don’t want to go to therapy. Ask them if there is anything that would make them more comfortable or willing to go. Show them that you are open to hearing their concerns and that you want to work on the relationship together.
    If your partner is still unwilling to attend therapy, consider attending sessions by yourself. This can be a great way to gain insight into your own behaviors and how they may be impacting your relationship. Additionally, it can help you learn new skills and strategies for communicating with your partner.
  2. Consider couples counseling alone even if your partner is not willing to attend. You can meet with a therapist alone and discuss how to best address issues in the relationship without your partner present. This can be a great way to gain insight into what is causing tension in the relationship and how to best manage it.
  3. If you are still unable to get your partner to attend therapy, look for other resources that may be helpful. There are many books, online articles, and podcasts that can provide guidance on how to improve relationships and communication skills.
  4. Talk to a trusted friend or family member about the situation, preferably with consent from your partner. They may have experienced a similar situation and can provide advice or support. Additionally, talking about the issue with someone else can help you gain perspective and clarity on how to move forward in the relationship.
  5. Take time for yourself and focus on self-care. Spend time doing activities that make you feel relaxed and happy, such as reading, exercising, or spending time with friends and family. This can help reduce stress and give you the energy needed to work on the relationship with your partner.
  6. Consider joining a support group for couples or individuals who are struggling with similar issues in their relationships. Talking with others who are going through similar situations can provide comfort, understanding, and advice on how to best handle the situation with your partner.
  7. Make sure that you are taking responsibility for your own actions in the relationship. Acknowledge any mistakes you have made and take steps towards improving yourself and the relationship as a whole.
  8. Practice active listening when talking with your partner about their concerns or feelings regarding therapy or the relationship in general. Show them that you are listening by repeating back what they have said and asking questions for clarification or further understanding of their perspective.
  9. Respect and acceptance. Lastly, remember that it is okay if you and your partner do not agree on attending therapy together at this time. It is important to respect each other’s feelings and opinions even if they differ from yours.

Ultimately, it is important to remember that you and your partner are in this together. Even if your partner is not willing to go to therapy, there are still ways to work on the relationship and make it stronger. It is important to be patient and understanding with each other and to keep an open dialogue about how you both feel.

For relationship counseling and/ or sexuality counseling, do contact us here.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Masters in Counseling, she launched Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualised and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples who have unconsummated marriage, individuals with sexual inhibitions and discrepancies in sexual desire, men with erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. Dr. Lee welcomes all sexual orientations and is available for online and face-to-face consultations. Martha speaks English and Mandarin.

She is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region (as of 2011) and is also an AASECT certified sexuality educator supervisor (as of 2018). She strives to provide fun, educational, and sex-positive events and is often cited in the media including Huffington PostNewsweek, South China Morning Post, and more. She is the appointed Resident Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society, Of, and Virtus Fertility Centre. She is the host of radio show Eros Evolution for OMTimes Radio. In recognition of her work, she was named one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40’ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the author of Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013),  Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019).

You can read the testimonials she’s received over years here. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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