As a relationship counselor and clinical sexologist, I’ve spent over 15 years advocating for understanding and acceptance of diverse sexual orientations, gender identities, and expressions. In 2023, I stepped into the world of stand-up comedy, where I found community and new ways to connect.

Together with co-organizer Shaiful Risan—known for his punk ethos and commitment to social justice—we created Singapore’s Sex-Positive Comedy Show. Our mission: to break taboos around sex and relationships while ensuring humor is respectful, inclusive, and healing—not harmful.

✅ What Works in Sex-Positive Comedy

✔ Relatable Experiences

Everyone struggles with relationships, dating, or body image—use this shared ground.
Example: “Trying to sext with autocorrect is like playing Twister with your thumbs. I meant ‘naughty’, not ‘noisy’!”

✔ Self-Deprecation

Laugh at your quirks without targeting others.
Example: “As a sexologist, people think I have wild stories. Truth? I once got a vibrator stuck in its travel case for a week.”

✔ Absurdity in Everyday Life

Point out the weirdness of modern intimacy.
Example: “Dating apps are like vending machines. You keep pressing swipe, hoping for a snack—but all you get is disappointment.”

🚫 What Isn’t OK – Even If the Crowd Laughs

Our show should be about:

1. Sex, sexuality, love, dating, relationships

2. Sex-positivity: Respectful of all genders, bodies, orientations, and experiences.

That means no jokes that:

• ❌ Are homophobic or transphobic

• ❌ Assume someone’s gender identity or orientation based on appearance

• ❌ Reinforce harmful gender/ sexuality stereotypes

• ❌ Body shame or make fun of someone’s size, shape, or features

• ❌ Mock sexual performance or shame sexual challenges

• ❌ Punch down at marginalized groups for cheap laughs

🎤 If your joke requires someone else to feel small—it’s not sex-positive.

🎯 Tips to Keep Your Humor Inclusive

💡 Educate Yourself

Learn about sensitivities around sexuality, gender, trauma, and body image. What lands “funny” for you might land as “hurtful” for others.

💡 Test Your Material

Run it past queer friends, women, and people outside your usual circle. Ask them: “Does this land well?” and listen.

💡 Know You’ll Mess Up

Mistakes happen. What matters is how you repair: be open to feedback, and avoid doubling down on harm.

🌈 What We’re Creating

This isn’t just another comedy night. It’s a space for connection, laughter, and liberation. Our goal is to help people heal through humor—not harm. We want them to leave feeling they learned something, laughed, had fun and not personally attacked or traumatised.

You don’t need to censor yourself. You do need to get more creative. The best jokes challenge us to think, not to shrink.

✨ Final Words

We’re all growing. We’re all learning. This guide isn’t to shame anyone—but to invite you to rise to the challenge of being both funny and kind.

Let’s create a comedy culture where everyone feels seen, safe, and respected—and still laughs till they snort.

For more guidance on navigating sensitive topics in comedy or in your personal life, please subscribe to ErosCoaching.com and keep a look out for our next Sex Positive Comedy Show! Let’s work together to create a more respectful and inclusive world of humor.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee