Understanding and embracing your sexuality can be a profound journey. To support you on this path, we’ve compiled a list of insightful and empowering books specifically written for vulva owners.
These books aim to provide comprehensive guidance on female sexuality, covering everything from anatomy and desire to emotional well-being and intimate relationships. Whether you’re seeking to overcome sexual myths, improve your sexual satisfaction, or simply explore new aspects of your sexual self, these titles offer valuable perspectives and practical advice.
1. Sex Matters for Women, Second Edition: A Complete Guide to Taking Care of Your Sexual Self by Dennis P. Sugrue, Sallie Foley, and Sally A. Kope Sex is talked about more openly today than ever before, but if you still struggle with sexual myths, self-doubt, and “embarrassing” questions, you’re in good company. Now in a fully updated second edition, this trusted guide has already helped many thousands of women understand how their bodies work and take charge of their sexuality. The authors are experienced therapists who interweave candid reflections from diverse women with current, science-based information, exercises, and advice. You’ll find answers to everything from how to have more satisfying sex to questions about body image, anatomy, hormones, relationships, sexual orientation, sexually transmitted infections, and trauma. Sexuality is a lifelong journey—this book gives you a roadmap for self-discovery and growth. | |
2. Come As You Are: Revised and Updated: The Surprising New Science That Will Transform Your Sex Life by Emily Nagoski, Ph.D. That is, until Emily Nagoski’s Come As You Are, which used groundbreaking science and research to prove that the most important factor in creating and sustaining a sex life filled with confidence and joy is not what the parts are or how they’re organized but how you feel about them. In the years since the book’s initial publication, countless women have learned through Nagoski’s accessible and informative guide that things like stress, mood, trust, and body image are not peripheral factors in a woman’s sexual wellbeing; they are central to it—and that even if you don’t always feel like it, you are already sexually whole by just being yourself. This revised and updated edition continues that mission with new information and advanced research, demystifying and decoding the science of sex so that everyone can create a better sex life and discover more pleasure than you ever thought possible. |
Address desire issues especially the strategy of responsive sexual desire rather than the traditional male model of spontaneous desire as “natural”
3. Better Sex Through Mindfulness: How Women Can Cultivate Desire by Dr. Lori Brotto A groundbreaking method for improving desire, arousal, and sexual satisfaction through mindfulness. Studies show that approximately half of all women experience some kind of sexual difficulty at one point in their lives, with lack of interest in sex being by far the most common―and the most distressing. And when sex suffers, so do all other areas of life. But it doesn’t have to be that way. In Better Sex through Mindfulness, acclaimed psychologist and sex researcher Lori A. Brotto offers a revolutionary approach to improving desire, arousal, and satisfaction inside―and outside of―the bedroom. A pioneer in the use of mindfulness for treating sexual difficulties, Brotto has helped hundreds of women cultivate more exciting, fulfilling sexual experiences. | |
4. Finding Your Sexual Voice: Celebrating Female Sexuality by Barry W. McCarthy and Emily McCarthy Finding Your Sexual Voice promotes the genuine understanding of strong female sexuality and empowers women to value desire, pleasure, eroticism, and satisfaction. The book confronts myths and misunderstandings about female sexuality, especially desire, and encourages an increased understanding of healthy couple sexuality so that the woman and man can be intimate and erotic allies. Each chapter includes a detailed psychosexual exercise, as well as a range of motivating case studies, to help women to discover their sexual style and value their sexual voice. The guide also expands the concept of sex to include sensual, playful, and erotic touch, and emphasizes the multiple roles and meanings of the Good Enough Sex (GES) model. |
Arousal and Orgasm, the emphasis on variable, flexible sexual response as opposed to one orgasm during intercourse model
5. Love Worth Making: How to Have Ridiculously Great Sex in a Long-Lasting Relationship by Dr. Stephen Snyder Can sex survive monogamy? Yes, once you understand how sexual emotions really work. This acclaimed, paradigm-shifting guide turns traditional sex therapy inside-out to reveal the hidden rules for great sex. Gentle, compassionate, and filled with compelling stories from Dr. Stephen Snyder’s thirty years as a sex therapist working with over 1,500 individuals and couples, Love Worth Making is essential reading for anyone hoping to keep sexual inspiration alive in a committed relationship. | |
6. Magnificent Sex: Lessons from Extraordinary Lovers by Peggy J. Kleinplatz, Ph.D. and A. Dana Ménard, Ph.D. Magnificent Sex is based on the largest, in-depth interview study ever conducted with people who are having extraordinary sex. It gathers the nuggets for remarkable sex from the “experts”, distilling them into an attainable blueprint for ordinary lovers who want to make erotic intimacy grow over the course of a lifetime. Looking at factors including individual and relational qualities, empathic communication and the myths and realities of magnificent sex, this book offers accessible and evidence-based guidance for lovers and therapists alike. It is replete with frank and often humorous interviews with straight and LGBTQ individuals and couples, those who are “vanilla” and “kinky”, monogamous and consensually non-monogamous and healthy and chronically ill. This illuminating book explores the implications of the findings to develop a model that effectively tackles the common problems of low desire and frequency. The “cure” for low desire is to create desirable sex! | |
7. Becoming Cliterate: Why Orgasm Equality Matters–And How to Get It by Laurie Mintz, PhD We’ve been thinking about sex all wrong. Mainstream media, movies, and porn have taught us that sex = penis + vagina, and everything else is just secondary. Standard penetration is how men most reliably achieve orgasm. The problem is, women don’t orgasm this way. We’ve separated our most reliable route to orgasm–clitoral stimulation–from how we feel we should orgasm–penetration. By dispelling the lies, misunderstandings, and myths that have been holding us back, Becoming Cliterate tackles both personal and political problems and replaces them with updated outlooks and practical skills needed to change our collective perspective on sex. It’s time to finally inform women and men on how to have satisfying experiences in bed that benefit both parties. | |
8. Mating in Captivity: Unlocking Erotic Intelligence by Ether Perel A New York City therapist examines the paradoxical relationship between domesticity and sexual desire and explains what it takes to bring lust home. One of the world’s most respected voices on erotic intelligence, Esther Perel offers a bold, provocative new take on intimacy and sex. Mating in Captivity invites us to explore the paradoxical union of domesticity and sexual desire, and explains what it takes to bring lust home. Drawing on more than twenty years of experience as a couples therapist, Perel examines the complexities of sustaining desire. Through case studies and lively discussion, Perel demonstrates how more exciting, playful, and even poetic sex is possible in long-term relationships. Wise, witty, and as revelatory as it is straightforward, Mating in Captivity is a sensational book that will transform the way you live and love. | |
9. From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms, and Everything In-Between by Dr Martha Tara Lee The book “From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms, and Everything In-Between” is a bold yet vulnerable account of how Relationship Counselor and Clinical Sexologist Dr. Martha Tara Lee views sex and sexuality. As the first sexologist with a doctorate in human sexuality in Singapore, Martha has gone where nobody has. She shares how she survived heartbreaks attained heartgasms and everything in between this journey. This book documents her professional journey as a pioneer sexologist, as well as personal one of reclaiming her femininity, and truly stepping into her power as a woman. More than coming of age book, each chapter has a theme, followed by practical suggestions for readers on how you too can navigate your own lives. |
About Dr. Martha Tara Lee
Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.
She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice since 2009, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore.
Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Clinical Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, Orgasmic Yoga, From Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.
Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.