As a relationship counselor and clinical sexologist, I never imagined I’d continue Masturbation Month dismantling harmful myths about self-touch. Yet here we are—because clients arrive at my clinic hollow-eyed, whispering, “I couldn’t last 30 days. Does this make me weak?”

Their shame isn’t organic; it’s manufactured by NoFap’s pseudoscientific rhetoric. It’s time we replace fear with facts—one evidence-based truth at a time.

What Is NoFap?

NoFap is an online movement promoting abstinence from masturbation and pornography, claiming benefits such as increased confidence, improved relationships, and resolved erectile dysfunction. Yet zero peer-reviewed studies validate these claims. Worse, the movement’s methodology—framing natural urges as moral failings—exacerbates the very issues it claims to solve.

Imagine telling someone to cure hunger by never eating. That’s NoFap’s logic.

Why NoFap Is Scientifically and Ethically Flawed

Pathologizing Biological Norms

The DSM-5-TR explicitly excludes consensual sexual behaviors from addiction criteria. True Compulsive Sexual Behavior Disorder (CSBD) requires:

• Loss of control causing physical or emotional harm (e.g., unprotected sex risking STIs)

• Persistent distress lasting six or more months, unrelated to medical conditions

• Time consumption disrupting daily functioning (e.g., four or more hours/day)

NoFap mislabels healthy sexual expression as pathological. For example:

• Prostate health: Men ejaculating 21+ times per month show a 31% lower cancer risk (Rider et al., 2016)

• Stress relief: Orgasms release oxytocin, reducing cortisol by 75% (Healthline, 2025)

• Self-discovery: 68% of women report improved body literacy through masturbation (Wehrli et al., 2024)

The Shame–Abstinence Cycle

NoFap’s “relapse” rhetoric mirrors substance recovery language, pathologizing biological impulses.

Studies confirm this pattern:

• 28.9% of NoFap participants report suicidal ideation post-“relapse” (Prause & Binnie, 2024)

• Anxiety scores 41% higher than control groups (p < .001)

• Erectile dysfunction rates 23% higher due to performance anxiety

The Clinical Reality: Compulsion vs. Cultural Shame

True compulsivity involves dopamine-seeking behaviors to numb trauma—not experiences of pleasure. NoFap’s misdiagnosis, however, conflates:

• High desire with pathology

• Stress relief with “weakness”

• Cultural shame with medical necessity

In my practice, clients internalize these false binaries.

A Better Path: Science-Backed Sexual Health

Mindful masturbation is one of the most healing practices I teach. Rather than chasing a goal (like orgasm), it encourages curiosity, body awareness, and acceptance. It can include:

• Journaling: Track when, how, and why you masturbate (stress? boredom? routine?)
• Sensate focus: Explore non-goal-oriented touch to increase sensation
• Pleasure mapping: Identify what truly satisfies you—physically and emotionally
• Self-inquiry: Ask yourself whether you’re seeking pleasure, escape, distraction, or relief. Then engage with self-touch from a place of conscious choice and respect for your energy.

When practiced regularly, this approach rewires your relationship with your body, pleasure, and autonomy. Clients often report increased emotional regulation, sleep quality, and reduced anxiety after just a few weeks.

Professional Support

As a clinician, I help clients:

• Differentiate shame from values using CBT

• Rebuild intimacy beyond “streaks”

• Address root causes (grief, trauma, OCD)

A Warm Invitation to Healing

A Warm Invitation to Healing

Your sexuality isn’t a battlefield—it’s a landscape to explore with curiosity, not fear. Here’s how I can support you:

• Book a free 15-minute clarity consultation to unpack how the NoFap narrative may be shaping your experience
• Receive a customized pleasure plan tailored to your values, goals, and unique relationship with your body
• Enter a compassionate, judgment-free space to rebuild your self-trust and sexual confidence at your pace

“You aren’t broken—you’re human. Let’s rebuild that trust in your body, together.”

If you’re struggling with shame, confusion, or conflict around masturbation or pornography, you’re not alone—and you’re not doing anything wrong. With professional guidance, it’s possible to reframe your experience, explore new tools like mindful self-touch, and grow a healthier, more empowered relationship with your sexuality.

There is no shame in enjoying masturbation or pornography—in fact, these can be vital tools for connection, stress relief, and emotional healing. If you’re ready to shift from shame to self-respect, I invite you to reach out today. Contact us today.

References

Healthline. (2025, May 1). Masturbation side effects: Myths vs. facts. https://www.healthline.com

Prause, N., & Binnie, J. (2024). Iatrogenic effects of Reboot/NoFap on public health. Sexualities. https://doi.org/10.1177/13634607231157070

Rider, J. R., Wilson, K. M., Sinnott, J. A., Kelly, R. S., Mucci, L. A., & Giovannucci, E. L. (2016). Ejaculation frequency and risk of prostate cancer: Updated results with an additional decade of follow-up. European Urology, 70(5), 974–982. https://doi.org/10.1016/j.eururo.2016.03.027

Vice. (2024, July 27). NoFap founder suing neuroscientist. https://www.vice.com

Wehrli, M., et al. (2024). Exploring the role of masturbation as a coping strategy in women. Frontiers in Psychology, 15, 11323945. https://doi.org/10.3389/fpsyg.2024.11323945

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee