I was invited to review Heads Up by the beautiful Dr. Teesha Morgan who was my schoolmate at the Institute for Advanced Study in Human Sexuality. The book promises to increase your sexual confidence, expand your sexual repertoire, and get the real low down on oral sex.
Because I know Morgan personally, I knew I was going to learn more than a thing or so from this book. Indeed, I did, even though I’ve been teaching hand and blow jobs in my own workshops for the past seven years! For starters, I didn’t expect to be greeted with fun animal trivia relating to oral sex, or the level of depth and width on this subject – from the sexual positions, techniques, to food play and incorporation of sex toys.
The book opened with a powerful disclaimer which stopped me right at my tracks, and gave rise to a pregnant pause before I could continue: “Good sex with NOT fix a bad relationship.” How true. Oral sex is not going to save a failing marriage – it can only be a nice distraction from what is not working.
The writing tone of the book is plain, clear and sex-positive – rightly so since both Morgan and Hummel are experienced helping professionals. Since I have met and worked with many women who are wary, hesitant, or even downright negative about giving oral sex, I appreciated the reassuring tone by the authors and answers to commonly asked questions in chapter 12.
There are a few things I would have done different had I been writing this book, and I recognise this is a matter of preference:
- For a sexual instructional book, I would have liked more illustrations rather than needing to work my brain in visualizing most of the techniques. Since I consider myself a seasoned sex-book reader by now, I can only imagine that the woman-on-the-street could find this challenging.
- Almost all sexual technique books I’ve read covered sexual anatomy first, and rightly so because just how might one learn what to do where, when they aren’t sure in the first place what is what? Instead this was in the appendix B on page 134.
- The “why” give oral is more critical than the “what” to do. The positive mindset towards giving oral sex needed to be addressed in the beginning, not at the end of the book.
Other than that, this book is stellar book on oral sex – a little bit of everything, including prostate massage and anal play I would definitely recommend it for beginners and beyond – though maybe read the book from the back to the front.
More about the Heads Up
Heads Up is an edgy-yet-educational, entertaining-yet-accurate book written by two Clinical Sex Therapists and Couples Counsellors on a mission to demystify and de-stigmatize sex and sexuality… specifically, the blowjob. Dr. Teesha Morgan and Constance Lynn Hummel, MA, provide practical, no-nonsense advice for fabulous foreplay, chock full of tangible tips and ideas guaranteed to stimulate a sensational time in the bedroom. An alternative to the run of the mill “How to” guides, Heads Up will empower you to create a sex life that truly reflects your sexual choices, while still leaving you laughing (and blushing) along the way.
Who is Martha?
Dr. Martha Tara Lee is Founder and Clinical Sexologist of Eros Coaching. She is a certified sexologist with a Doctorate in Human Sexuality. She provides sexuality and relationship coaching for individuals and couples, conducts sexual education workshops and speaks at public events. She is the author of the books Love, Sex and Everything In-Between, and Orgasmic Yoga. She is also the host of the weekly radio show Eros Evolution on OMTimes Radio. For more, visit www.ErosCoaching.com or email firstname.lastname@example.org.