Recordings of April Sugar & Spice Monthly Talk (S&Sx). Theme: Violence

Posted On: May 3, 2021

We run three virtual sexuality festivals with the one in March comprising of 30 presenters, 12 presenters over 5 days. You can watch past recordings we’ve put up here.

We are taking a pause on Sugar & Spice festival but launched our monthly talk as of 28 April 2021. The theme was Violence. The recordings are here:

Complete recording S&Sx1: Violence

1. Searching for Validation in All the Wrong Places by Madam Rouge 

Madame Rouge talks about how being severely bullied as a child could lead to diminished self-worth and identity crisis, leading to sexual promiscuity and abusive relationships.

About Madame Rouge

Madame Rouge, a performer and costume designer with a flair for theatrics and an avid appreciation for vintage aesthetics founded the first and only authentic neo-burlesque theatre in Bangkok in 2019. During an extended stay in France, she was introduced to the world of Parisian cabaret, and ever since then, her life has been entangled with the art of seduction.

Once in Bangkok, she found a niche amongst the bustling entertainment industry of the vibrant city, and strived to satisfy it. When the opportunity to introduce a ravishing new show was presented to her, she was determined to create a groundbreaking experience that would not only mesmerize and captivate her audience, but would also challenge the taboo of sexuality and femininity in a surprisingly conservative society.

Unlike many cabaret shows and large-scale productions, Madame Rouge aims to celebrate every performer as individual starlets, promoting each one for their uniquely different dance styles and abilities, bringing them together to form an eclectic yet perfectly well-balanced troupe of unending talent. The daring performers of Madame Rouge are an international collection of professionally trained dancers from all over the globe, including Thailand, Mexico, Russia, South Africa, and Hong Kong. Not only are they mistresses of seduction, but their assertive femininity will certainly intrigue and enthrall.



2. The Shadow Side of Male Rape by Daanish Hambali 

Daanish will be talking about  his sexual assault, how it’s like living with fear for years because he was raped by a men. He fell into the dark whole of stigma and fuelled his life with drugs. Daanish attempted suicide 5 times and has many scars on his body because he started to cut himself after the rape. This is his message of fear, pain, despair, abuse, and also resilience.

About Daanish Hambali

Daanish Hambali is a Men’s Mental Health Advocate. A sexual assault and drug abuse survivor, he wishes to shed light and eliminate the stigma of mental issues in men. In our society, mental health is looked upon lightly, and mental health in men is shamed upon. He has dedicated himself to sharing his stories with full transparency, albeit the taboo topics, to inspire and hopefully help others.  He feels that men should be able to seek help for mental health without feeling embarrassed, and he hopes to provide a platform for them to seek help without the fear of being judged.

3. Exotic Enemy: The Impact of Anti-AAPI Sexuality by Goddess Cecilia

Statistics have shown that hate crimes against Asian Americans and Pacific Islanders have risen 150% since March 2020, but this is just a steep rise in the long history of anti-Asian rhetoric and violence in the United States. It’s been trauma after trauma for the AAPI community. Though there is more information available about mental health within the community, there’s a lack of conversation about how this all affects our sexuality. Goddess Cecilia will speak about how our sexuality continues to be impacted by the rise in anti-AAPI hate, and shares some thoughts about where we go from here.

About Goddess Cecilia

Goddess Cecilia is a Sexuality & Pleasure Educator who believes that even though most of the ocean remains unexplored, you are welcome to dive deep into the depths of your pleasures as a healthy and healing part of self-care. Whether it’s through pampering and pleasure products, or a Vulva/Body Crafts activity, or educating in her finest shells, the Mermaid Goddess helps you relearn and reclaim your pleasure.

IG/Twitter/TikTok: @GoddessCecilia

We had breakout rooms for catch up, chit-chat & networking.

Lastly: Lush 3 by Lovense

We like to thank our sponsor Pink Lifestyle and grateful that because of their support we are able to provide our presenters an honorarium.
The topic of violence is an important one, and we would really appreciate your feedback and reshares! If you wish to nominate yourself or somebody of Asian descent to be a presenter, please email us at
The next Sugar & Spice talks is scheduled for Fri 14 May 2021 and we will be honoring Masturbation Month. Please subscribe for updates at

Curated by Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 12 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. She is also a Red Tent Women’s Circles Facilitator from Star of Ishtar.

Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Resident Sexologist for; as well appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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