Recordings of June Sugar & Spice Monthly Talk (S&Sx). Theme: Pride Month

Posted On: July 27, 2021

We run three virtual sexuality festivals with the one in March comprising of 30 presenters, 12 presenters over 5 days. You can watch past recordings we’ve put up here.

We are taking a pause on Sugar & Spice festival but launched our monthly talk:

Wed 28 April 2021 –  Violence

Fri 14 May 2021 – Pleasure

Complete recording S&Sx3: Pride Month

1. The Intersection of It All by Aarti Olivia Dubey

An examination of the different identities they take up as an individual that impacts their existence and activism. As a Fat Non Binary Bisexual South Asian born in Singapore, they share experiences of Fatphobia, Biphobia and of being a minority race. To drive home the fact that no one part of their identity can exist without the championing of the rest of them.

Having always been activist at heart but only getting into it in their mid 30s, they delve into the challenges of coming out later in life in the public eye and coming to a place of true self acceptance.

About Aarti Olivia Dubey

Aarti Olivia Dubey is a former mental health therapist who took a leap of faith at 30 and started a plus size fashion blog known as Curves Become Her. Today, they exist both as a plus size fashion blogger and activist. Their activism spans across various intersections of their identity – from Fat Liberation to Human Rights and their Queer Identity. They have worked with local, regional and international publications, organisations, media outlets to advocate for marginalised bodies.





2. It’s Not a Culture Way – It’s a Proxy War by Elijah Tay

By definition, a proxy war is a war instigated by a major power which does not itself become involved. Growing up in a sheltered environment, they used to be ignorant and close-minded, but acknowledging their queerness helped them to open their eyes, mind and heart. Their introspection enabled their extrospection. Through this ongoing journey, they have come to learn of how the personal is political – and the lack of substantive action from the top is harming the lives of fellow LGBTQ+ folks. In this presentation, Elijah (they/them) shares about everything about and surrounding their queerness – coming out, facing discrimination, getting involved in advocacy, activism and politics, and simply being and becoming.

About Elijah Tay

Elijah Tay (they/them) is a passionate youth activist who has been involved in advocacy work since they were in secondary school. At the age of 16, they founded initiatives like @QueersOfLH and @MyQueerStorySG to uplift the voices of the LGBTQ+ community in school and in Singapore respectively. They have also shared extensively in live discussions and podcasts, such as on New Naratif’s Political Agenda, Sayoni’s webinars, SPEQ:TRUM podcast, Lesbeheard’s Instagram Live and Ferne Health’s online workshop. They believe in the importance of creating safe spaces while moving society towards becoming a safe space for all.

Many of the stories we see in the media about “coming out” as LGBTQ highlight stories of people who knew very early on in their childhood that they were Queer, and thus searching for validation and support for their identity.  Some young people do have an inkling early on, but what gets left out of the narrative of queerness are folks who don’t unlearn their hetersexuality until their adult years.   In her journey of unlearning heterosexuality, Jayda shares her journey of feeling “queer enough” for the LGBTQ community, as a pansexual femme, and how our current culture of compulsory monogamy doesn’t leave enough room for many of us to explore our queerness or gender.

About Jayda Shuavarnnnasri

Jayda Shuavarnnnasri is a queer Southeast Asian sexuality & relationship educator. Also known as Sex Positive Asian Auntie, she works to liberate folks from sexual shame by creating space for authentic conversations about sexuality, relationships, identity and healing. The topics that excite her most are sexual exploration, identity, transformative justice, and non-conventional relationships.  She is also the co-producer of Don’t Say Sorry podcast, which centers the experience of Southeast Asian women navigating relationships, mental health and sexuality.



We like to thank our sponsor Pink Lifestyle and Sexologist Dr Martha Tara Lee highlights three products at the end of this session: Pjur Rainbow Silicon Lube; Eve’s Rechargeable Silver Metal Bullet; and Adam & Eve – Red Hearts Set of 3 Anal Plug.

If you wish to nominate yourself or somebody of Asian descent to be a presenter, please email us at
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About the Curator Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Surrounded by friends who were sexually inhibited and struck by dire lack of positive conversations around sex and sexuality in Singapore, Dr. Martha Tara Lee set out to make a positive difference in embarking on her doctorate in human sexuality before launching Eros Coaching in 2009. Today, she remains dedicated to working with individuals and couples who wish to lead self-actualised and pleasure-filled lives.

She also holds certificates in counselling, coaching and sex therapy, and her fourth degree – a Masters in Counselling in May 2018. In practice for more than 12 years, she is the only certified sexuality educator and certified sexuality educator supervisor by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in Singapore. She is also a Red Tent Women’s Circles Facilitator from Star of Ishtar.

Often cited in the media, Dr. Lee is the appointed Resident Sexologist for; as well appointed sex expert for Men’s Health Singapore, and Men’s Health Malaysia. She was recognised as one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women Under 40′ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She has published four books: Love, Sex and Everything In-BetweenOrgasmic YogaFrom Princess to Queen and {Un}Inhibited.

Martha works with individuals and couples in private coaching sessions, and conducts her own workshops. She takes prides in making sure all her workshops are also fun, educational, and sex-positive. This comes easily to her because even though she is extremely dedicated and serious about her work, she fundamentally believes that sex is meant to be fun, wonderful, amazing and sacred. As such, this serious light-heartedness has shone through again and again. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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