Breaking Down Barriers: Sexuality and Disability

Posted On: October 24, 2023

 Breaking Down Barriers

Sexuality is a fundamental aspect of human life, yet it is often overlooked or ignored when it comes to people with disabilities. The truth is that people with disabilities have the same sexual desires and needs as anyone else. Unfortunately, there are many myths and misconceptions surrounding sexuality and disability that prevent people from fully embracing their sexuality. As a sexologist, I believe it’s important to debunk these myths and misconceptions and become allies for people with disabilities in their sexual exploration.

Myth #1: People with disabilities are asexual or not interested in sex.

This is a common misconception that is simply not true. People with disabilities have the same sexual desires and needs as anyone else. However, they may face barriers to expressing their sexuality due to physical limitations or societal attitudes towards disability.

Myth #2: People with disabilities cannot have sex.

This is another myth that is not true. People with disabilities may need to adapt their sexual practices to accommodate physical limitations, but they can still engage in sexual activity. There are also many assistive devices and technologies available that can help people with disabilities engage in sexual activity.

Myth #3: People with disabilities are not attractive or desirable.

This myth is harmful and perpetuates negative stereotypes about people with disabilities. Everyone has the right to feel attractive and desirable, regardless of their physical abilities. It’s important to challenge ableist attitudes towards disability and recognize that beauty comes in all shapes and sizes.

Myth #4: People with disabilities cannot have children.

This myth is also not true. While some people with disabilities may face challenges when it comes to fertility or pregnancy, there are many options available for them to have children if they choose to do so.

Why We Should All Be Allies

As allies for people with disabilities in their sexual exploration, we can help break down barriers and challenge ableist attitudes towards disability. Here are some ways we can be allies:

  • Educate ourselves about disability and sexuality. By learning about the experiences of people with disabilities, we can better understand their needs and challenges when it comes to sexuality.
  • Advocate for inclusive sex education. Sex education should be inclusive of all bodies and abilities, and should provide accurate information about disability and sexuality.
  • Support disability-inclusive sex toy companies. There are many sex toy companies that offer products specifically designed for people with disabilities. By supporting these companies, we can help make sexual exploration more accessible for everyone.
  • Challenge ableist attitudes towards disability. We can challenge negative stereotypes and assumptions about people with disabilities by speaking out against ableism and promoting inclusivity.

Sexuality is a fundamental aspect of human life that should be accessible to everyone, regardless of their physical abilities. By debunking myths and misconceptions about sexuality and disability, and becoming allies for people with disabilities in their sexual exploration, we can help create a more inclusive and accepting world for all.

If you’re struggling to navigate sexuality and disability in the dating world, I encourage you to come in for a consultation with a qualified sexologist like myself. Together, we can work through any challenges you may be facing and help you achieve a fulfilling and satisfying sex life.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Masters in Counseling, she launched Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualised and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples who have unconsummated marriage, individuals with sexual inhibitions and discrepancies in sexual desire, men with erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. Dr. Lee welcomes all sexual orientations and is available for online and face-to-face consultations. Martha speaks English and Mandarin.

She is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region (as of 2011) and is also an AASECT certified sexuality educator supervisor (as of 2018). She strives to provide fun, educational, and sex-positive events and is often cited in the media including Huffington PostNewsweek, South China Morning Post, and more. She is the appointed Resident Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society, Of, and Virtus Fertility Centre. She is the host of radio show Eros Evolution for OMTimes Radio. In recognition of her work, she was named one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40’ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the author of Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013),  Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019).

You can read the testimonials she’s received over years here. For her full profile, click here. Email her here.

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