Challenging Stigma: Cancer Survivors and Sexual Expression

Cancer is a life-changing diagnosis that can impact many aspects of a person’s life, including their sexuality. Unfortunately, there are many myths and misconceptions surrounding sexuality and cancer that prevent people from fully embracing their sexuality during and after treatment. As a sexologist, I believe it’s important to debunk these myths and misconceptions and become allies for people with cancer in their sexual exploration.

Myth #1: People with cancer are not interested in sex.

This is a common misconception that is simply not true. People with cancer have the same sexual desires and needs as anyone else. However, they may face barriers to expressing their sexuality due to physical limitations or side effects of treatment.

Myth #2: Cancer treatment always leads to sexual dysfunction.

While some cancer treatments can impact sexual function, it is not always the case. It’s important for healthcare providers to discuss potential side effects of treatment with their patients and provide resources for managing any sexual changes that may occur.

Myth #3: Masturbation or sex can spread cancer.

This myth is not true. Masturbation or sex does not spread cancer or make it worse. However, it’s important for people with cancer to discuss any concerns about sexual activity with their healthcare provider to ensure it is safe for them.

Myth #4: People with cancer cannot have children.

While some cancer treatments can impact fertility, there are many options available for people with cancer to have children if they choose to do so. It’s important for healthcare providers to discuss fertility preservation options with their patients before starting treatment.

Why We Should All Be Allies

As allies for people with cancer in their sexual exploration, we can help break down barriers and challenge misconceptions about sexuality and cancer. Here are some ways we can be allies:

Educate ourselves about cancer and sexuality. By learning about the experiences of people with cancer, we can better understand their needs and challenges when it comes to sexuality.
Advocate for inclusive cancer care. Cancer care should be inclusive of all aspects of a person’s life, including their sexuality. Healthcare providers should be trained to address sexual concerns and provide resources for managing any sexual changes that may occur.
Support cancer-inclusive sex toy companies. There are many sex toy companies that offer products specifically designed for people with cancer. By supporting these companies, we can help make sexual exploration more accessible for everyone.
Challenge negative attitudes towards cancer and sexuality. We can challenge negative stereotypes and assumptions about people with cancer by speaking out against stigma and promoting inclusivity.

Cancer is a life-changing diagnosis that can impact a person’s sexuality. By debunking myths and misconceptions about sexuality and cancer, and becoming allies for people with cancer in their sexual exploration, we can help create a more inclusive and accepting world for all.

Watch my standup comedy titled Martha’s Mother’s Vibrator here!

P.S. I am the Resident Sexologist of Singapore Cancer Society. If you are a member, you can get free sexuality support as a cancer survivor. Please contact me here.

About Dr. Martha Tara Lee

Dr. Martha Tara Lee has been a passionate advocate for positive sexuality since 2007. With a Doctorate in Human Sexuality and a Masters in Counseling, she launched Eros Coaching in 2009 to help individuals and couples lead self-actualised and pleasurable lives. Her expertise includes working with couples who have unconsummated marriage, individuals with sexual inhibitions and discrepancies in sexual desire, men with erection and ejaculation concerns, and members of the LGBTQIA+ and kink communities. Dr. Lee welcomes all sexual orientations and is available for online and face-to-face consultations. Martha speaks English and Mandarin.

She is the only certified sexuality educator by the American Association of Sexuality Educators, Counselors and Therapists (AASECT) in the region (as of 2011) and is also an AASECT certified sexuality educator supervisor (as of 2018). She strives to provide fun, educational, and sex-positive events and is often cited in the media including Huffington Post, Newsweek, South China Morning Post, and more. She is the appointed Resident Sexologist for Singapore Cancer Society, Of Noah.sg, OfZoey.sg, and Virtus Fertility Centre. She is the host of radio show Eros Evolution for OMTimes Radio. In recognition of her work, she was named one of ‘Top 50 Inspiring Women under 40’ by Her World in July 2010, and one of ‘Top 100 Inspiring Women’ by CozyCot in March 2011. She is the author of Love, Sex and Everything In-Between (2013), Orgasmic Yoga: Masturbation, Meditation and Everything In-Between (2015), From Princess to Queen: Heartbreaks, Heartgasms and Everything In-Between (2017), and {Un}Inhihibited (2019).