Posted On: November 5, 2019
I used to hate ‘small talk’ and know people who hate it too – preferring ‘big talk’ instead. Small talk is when you talk about something or anything of unimportant or uncontroversial matters. Yet even small talk is very telling of people. Depending on their answer, One can tell whether they are open, curious, happy, […]
Posted On: November 1, 2019
Every teacher has a teacher. I hired my first coach at 24 when I was going through my first divorce. She, however, violated coaching ethics by calling me on the phone (while we were still undergoing coaching) crying about how worried she was about paying her flat instalment, and screaming about one of her trainees […]
Posted On: October 22, 2019
When I was going through my divorce, the last thing I wanted to do was go into circle with other women going through the same thing because I did not view what I was going through as same-same as others. I didn’t want to be surrounded by more pain, negativity, fears, drama, and stories. […]
Posted On: October 17, 2019
Over the last few days, I realise these are some things I don’t do anymore: I don’t interrupt (I wait for the unfolding of people’s stories. I can tell if they are finished through their micro expressions, and don’t talk until they are completely done.) I ask one question at a time. I don’t think […]
Posted On: October 15, 2019
When I was pursuing my diploma in Mass Communications, I got a rare A in one of my school projects on Communications (which surprised even myself). In that module, we were taught to appreciate and understand the difference between verbal and non-verbal communication – and naturally we had the assignment of demonstrating our understanding between […]
Posted On: October 10, 2019
“Do you know what the word ’empowered’ means?” I used to volunteer in the only women advocacy group in Singapore, and this question was one of the first questions one of the ex-Presidents and my one-time mentor asked me. I didn’t know. I felt I should have. I certainly heard it many times. So cool […]
Posted On: October 8, 2019
Have you ever Scalded your hand with boiling water, and been afraid of drinking any hot drink? Fallen down, and vowed never to run/ skip/ dance again? Failed in something, and vowed not to try again? Been heartbroken, and vowed never to open your heart again? The vows we make doesn’t always serve us. We […]
Posted On: October 5, 2019
I watched Hustlers tonight and I was bored. Don’t get me wrong: it IS fun, entertaining, sexy, and all about girl-power/ friendship/ sisterhood/ camaraderie no doubt. What’s there not to like? Beautiful, expressed, confident women! Beyond all that glitz, the movie itself was drawn out and could have been condensed. The movie has just crossed […]
Posted On: October 4, 2019
What gives you joy? What makes you happy? What causes you to feel ecstatic (or as this Sexologist likes to ask… orgasmic)? For me, these are some of the things. When… The wind blows against my face/ hair I dangle my feet from a swing/ basket chair (like in this pic) I drink tea/ do […]
Posted On: October 2, 2019
It isn’t enough to just show up at work, and be paid for just what we do anymore. We can’t just show up physically and mentally, and park the rest of ourselves at home under the blanket. We are, and rightly so, expected to bring our best game, and show up fully and completely. We […]
Posted On: October 1, 2019
We tend to live in a black-and-white world – things are either right or wrong; good or bad; normal or abnormal. There isn’t much space for the shades in between. This need and fixation for polarity is especially so in areas where this is much ignorance (lack of knowledge/ education) around including in sexuality. As […]
Posted On: September 26, 2019
I studied mass communication (the different ways we communicate with the masses). In my journalism course, it was drummed into us not to say in 10 words what we can in one. Or in other words, the K.I.S.S. (Keep It Simple, Stupid) concept. This inevitably became an ethos I adopted for life. People tried to […]
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