As the firstborn, I’ve had to “fight” for pretty much everything…

As the firstborn, I’ve had to “fight” for pretty much everything…

Posted On: January 3, 2023

As the firstborn, I’ve had to “fight” for pretty much everything I wanted in my life: My first outing with my friends My first overnight BBQ My right to wear lipstick My right to keep my hair long  My right to wear contact lenses My right to pursue the Arts steam I wanted (including intentionally […]

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What’s the Cost of Being Kind?

What’s the Cost of Being Kind?

Posted On: November 29, 2022

I was just about to take the empty seat on the train when I saw an elderly couple about to board the train from the platform. I made sure to stand by the seat in case they needed. They spotted two empty seats and were walking slowly towards it when a young person scooped down […]

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What is Your Santuary?

What is Your Santuary?

Posted On: November 8, 2022

I have increased my practice of meditating and walking on the treadmill from the original half hour at the start of this year, to one hour to 1.5hour at a time lately. I used to call my walking meditations: “Walk as if my life depended on it. I suffered from two serious bout of depression […]

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Love-experienced as an Inner Compass

Love-experienced as an Inner Compass

Posted On: July 27, 2022

When I’ve been in utterly miserable situations like putting myself in downright nasty and pathetic hostels and going into self-pity, I’ve found myself thinking to myself: “If my parents could see me now, it would break their hearts.” A part of me instinctively knew to preserve myself, because I’m someone who has experienced love, what […]

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My Mom Didn’t Know… I Could Never Reject Her

My Mom Didn’t Know… I Could Never Reject Her

Posted On: July 20, 2022

One of the biggest and most common complaints mom made when she was alive was that we didn’t bring her out to eat enough. Unlike her, food wasn’t and has never been a big deal for me. However since this was obviously important to her, I made it a point to take her out for […]

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I am not a Nobody and Neither are You!

I am not a Nobody and Neither are You!

Posted On: July 13, 2022

I had a mother who used to keep saying that she became a nobody when she retired. I saw how this belief reduced her to behaving like a nobody whose power and sense of self seem to be robbed from her even though she had to be so much more than her job. She was […]

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Your Energy Speaks before You Do

Your Energy Speaks before You Do

Posted On: July 6, 2022

I’m recalling a time when I used to attend a professional group gathering monthly. We were having pre-event food and were actually having a good chat when a new person joined us. He immediately asked, “How are things?” It wasn’t what he said. It was how he said it. None of us wanted to be […]

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Look Out for Your Loved Ones

Look Out for Your Loved Ones

Posted On: July 1, 2022

My dad and I have a system when we travel on public transport. When I take public transport with my dad, I would try to get onboard quickly to “chop” (get) a seat for him. He would be slower and his eyes would then scan the bus or train for me. I would gesture for […]

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Agree? Life is a Series of Ok and Not Ok…

Agree? Life is a Series of Ok and Not Ok…

Posted On: June 29, 2022

Life is a series of ok and not ok. I had running nose and sore throat intermittently yesterday. Covid test negative. I felt hives attack coming and took an antihistamine. I didn’t sleep well through the night as I experienced hot flushes. This morning I was so tired, it took me four attempts before I […]

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This is why I Used to Get Upset with my Mom…

This is why I Used to Get Upset with my Mom…

Posted On: June 22, 2022

I used to get upset with my mom when I saw her giving up her seat on public transport. The irony would strike me: an elderly and unwell person giving up her seat to an even more elderly person. What would not be obvious to outsiders was that my mom was battling stage four breast […]

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Laugh… but Never Look Down on our Parents

Laugh… but Never Look Down on our Parents

Posted On: June 15, 2022

My mom used to go “fard” when she got mad. It took me a while… fard? Fart?  Did she mean to swear as in fuck? I never corrected her. Instead of being alarmed or scared, I couldn’t take her seriously. I used to always laugh inside whenever she went “fard”! My mom’s first language isn’t […]

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Do You Have Work Integrity?

Do You Have Work Integrity?

Posted On: June 8, 2022

Woke up for second time at 4:15am for a 5:30am zoom client only for it to be cancelled again this morning. Client agreed to pay for it though. What they won’t know is that I only had two or three interrupted hours of sleep due to drinking too much tea, as well the loud CNY […]

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